Notes

ive always felt uncomfortable in how i dress, like something has always been wrong. i can never seem to wrap my head around it. ive always been attracted to guys n girls but ive never been comfortable calling myself a girl recently. ive been questioning if im non-binary or genderfluid though ive been doing my research n mb i am trans. i know im not fully a woman. i really want to change my name but i know if i do, my dad n most ppl wont use it n with my pronouns i know if i change them no one will change them fully. im really just trying to figure myself out n if i cant do that then how would i be able to help anyone else trying to figure out themselves? ive never fully felt myself doing make-up n wearing dresses. i could never figure out why. why dont i like wearing dresses? or high-heels? why cant i just be a "normal" girl? im known as a weird girl who cant keep ppl around for long. for someone who doesnt know who they are, im doing a bad job with trying to keep ppl around. ive always been by myself, never fitting in anywhere i went. im weird, im to loud. so i put on a persona that everyone thinks its the real me. there is no real me yet, i cant figure myself out. do i like guys? do i like girls? am i genderfluid? or maybe non-binary? maybe im trans? idk but i hope i can figure out before i figure out how to tie a noose.