Notes

“C-Can you hear me?.. I-I don't know if you can - the doctor said you can, but.. I know better than to believe the bullshit he's been spouting; going on and on about how ‘depressed’ you are, and how the second you wake up, he'll need to ‘talk to you about the meds you'll need’; doesn't he understand that'll only stress you out more? Doesn't he understand, this whole thing.. I-Is my fault?..”

“You're not depressed, at least.. I don’t think so; t-though I-I’m not a professional so I g-guess I wouldn’t know.. After all, I'm just a fuck up of a boyfriend.. B-but whenever I try to tell anyone that, they just say I'm ‘being too hard on myself,’ that I need to ‘forgive myself,’ but if you can't even forgive me for what I did, how the hell am I supposed to forgive myself?.. How am I supposed to forgive myself when.. when I did this to you? When I'm the one who made you wanna hurt your precious body, all because I'm a fuck up w-with major social anxiety, who’s too worried about how to politely put things so I don’t offend anyone, to actually do jack-shit about the situation at hand?!”

“I.. I'm sorry, I d-didn’t mean to yell - I know you hate it when I yell - I just.. I just wish I could go back and make sure none of this ever happened; make sure you never hurt yourself; make sure I was actually f-fucking there when you needed me instead of off partying and getting drunk with Pete and D-Dallon; make sure that I actually t-took charge of things for once in my p-pathetic life.
But, I guess that won't matter soon, will it? You'll wake up, you'll go back to your place, you'll slowly forget about me, you'll find someone better.. And all will be right with the world, huh, Ry?..”

“Just.. Just remember I love you, okay? Whether you choose to accept it or not - and I honestly don't blame you if you don't - I fucking love you, Ryan Ross; I just wish I had said it sooner.”