Notes

Bethany Mota, you caused my brother’s death. I’ve lost my best friend and the most important person in my life. I'm broken. I’m so lost now because of you. You could have saved him. You could have been his saving grace, but you seemed to have chosen a life where fame and power and taken hold on you, and destroyed you in the process.

This is a fragment of my brother’s suicide letter to family, friends and then you. I think one of the reasons he is no longer with us is definitely because of you.


"Bethany Mota, I’ve always loved you. I never thought you were just some hot girl that I wanted to fuck. I didn’t want to be with you for your money; for your fame; or for myself. I wanted you, because I wanted to be be your partner in the journey of life. I wanted to laugh with you. I wanted to cry with you. I wanted to make you happy. I wanted us to make each other happy. So I tried. I tried reaching out to you. I tried making the connection and starting a life together. I tried tweeting you, sending you snapchats, etc. but nothing in return. I realized that with millions of others doing the same that wouldn’t work. So I faked an email. I pretended to be some youth counselor in hopes that you would be interested in writing back to me. But nothing. I was tracking the emails. I sent those to [email protected] months ago. Months, and nothing. The tracker said you never even opened them. How could you ignore that? How could you not care? Even from a business perspective, how in months could you be so careless? I’ve been hoping that you could be my savior. I was hoping that you could help me survive. But no , that I see that that Bethany is now gone, I see no hope for myself."


This was just one short part of the letter, though every other person he mentioned got the same length of time. But that’s something important, quality versus quantity. Maybe it was short, but to me it was emotional and painful. That’s something I think you’ve confused. I’m just an occasional viewer, so I don’t really know too much about you, but I know he has complained about you from time to time. You might have less videos of higher quality (which is one area you’ve got right), but it seems like the more and more “things” you do is causing you to lose that connection with your fans. I see this a lot in your comments. I saw one on your first (and only) vlog from someone upset that you broke your promise to your fans. What I do know about you is that your fans saved your life when you were broken, but now when you had the chance to return the favor, you seemed to choose living a life of luxury instead of helping those who needed it.

Right now Bethany, I hate you. I hate what you’ve done to my brother, even though you never did it intentionally. While I know it's sort of a crazy thought, he wanted you to be the person he dreamed to spend his life with. He wanted you to return to the loving young woman he first meet however many years or months ago. Despite the pain, anger and sadness I feel with every press of my keyboard, I am trying to remain level-headed and help his wish come true. Even though most of your fans are not in such a dark place as my brother was, I think many share they're frustrations. He wanted the best for you, so I want to share his message with you to help his wishes hopefully be fulfilled. If you think truly do want to be an inspirational; caring person in the position your in, I ask that you do a few things:

Go read all your emails, respond to everyone. Every. Single. One. Read everything you never have, no matter how dated it may be. Something big may be sealed inside that digital envelope. You never know when something you may just want to toss away something or someone who could change your life.

Go apologize to your fans. Apologize for betraying them with not keeping your promises. Apologize for making them think they could count on you to love them, and then give end up giving next to nothing.

Go figure out if this fame and fortune you have is really worth it. Realize that all these magazines; modeling gigs and great offers aren’t always the best choice. Figure out which ones have inadvertently destroyed the parts of you that I don’t think you want destroyed.

Go take control of your power and fame and used it to help others rather than spending your money on yourself traveling around the world that your fans gave to you only using it on yourself and not giving fans any vlogs that you promise and never make.

Go change to become the good person you still have yet to be that my son wanted you to be.

Go do all these things and become a person that deep down I hope you still want to be.