Notes

My name is Dylan, I'm 14, and I live a pretty normal life. I live with just my mom and my sister, Sophie. My parents got divorced when I was pretty young. But, there's something I haven't told anyone. Not even my own parents. I have special powers. I noticed them when I was around 7. I've been able to move things very slightly with my mind. And, I can see a tiny bit into the future. Not huge, just a few seconds, and during that time, I pass out. And last of all, I can read people's mind. But only when we have physical contact. Now, you must be thinking, "Wow, this kid has the life, I wish I had those powers!" Wrong, it's because of these stupid powers, that my life went terribly wrong.

1) the first, like, 4 sentences aren't entirely necessary and make it seem more boring. if the divorce thing turns out to be actually important, maybe u can reintroduce it later, but if u add it in the first paragraph, people are most likely to forget it.

2) since u started this off talking to the reader, i have a suggestion. so when u read most books they start off pretty interesting. 98% of the time they don't immediately introduce u to who they are. (**however i do find it quite irritating when i don't know the main character's name until someone addresses them**) instead of being like "hi im dylan and here's 4 other useless facts about me that u dont care about" start it off simple maybe. me, personally, i like it when the author starts it off with nothing too boring but not like woah ok. the testing: "Graduation day." <- literally first sentence. and my brain was like "k seems legit" and continues reading.

now im not sure what exactly u might prefer to do but something maybe addressing the powers first. u could like mention it being mythical or fiction and then like "ya rite" you know? " Not huge, just a few seconds, and during that time, I pass out. " tbh i like this sentence, u should keep it. ( i have a question tho, does he see the future when he's unconscious and then like wake up or does he see the future for a few secs then pass out? )

3) last sentence is gud 10/10 would read again