Notes

I was walking down the hallway to my next class when I heard footsteps behind me. "Shit." I thought to myself. They were following me for sure. I decided not to confront them and so I quickened my pace, unfortunately so did they. After a few seconds they were full on bolting. I wasn't a very athletic person. It was only a matter of seconds before they managed to catch up to me and grab my backpack. "Look, I don't want any trouble!" I stuttered. "Unfortunately for you, we do." The biggest one answered back, and they all took off their backpacks. "Grab him!" The other two then jumped at me and held me by my arms. I closed my eyes as the first punch hit me in the face. Within seconds, I was covered in blood. "Stop! I didn't do anything to you!" I finally broke out. They all started laughing and kept holding me down as if I hadn't said anything at all. I became angrier with every punch. Then I did something that changed my life forever. I got angry. I started to glow purple with rage and my eyes were turning purple as well. They started to back away in fear. I screamed as I used my powers to launch books, backpacks, and coats flying straight at them. The force knocked them off their feet and they fell unconscious. I became really tired and I stopped glowing. Then, looked at the other kids and realized what I had done. I heard a yelp from across the hall to see a girl run away. She had to have seen everything, and I didn't get a good look at her so I didn't know who she was. I tried my best to get away as a stumbled out the door, unable to comprehend what could happen to me after they told the police, or anyone about my powers.

1) long ass paragraph is long can u like separate dialogue or something

2) " I became angrier with every punch. " more like u became more hurt. i mean u are fucking bleeding. but ya in general nothing wrong with this line just wanted to be sarcastic ;) but hence the "covered in blood" part, theyhad to have been really strong and that would have hurt a whole fucking lot. i get that he's not exactly normal but i thought this was worth mentioning

3) "I became really tired and I stopped glowing. " grammar mistake ((: put a comma before and or remove the second i

4) so. at the beginning u mentioned how this is in between classes as he's going to his next. the halls should be filled with kids right? " Then, looked at the other kids and realized what I had done. " im not sure if this is supposed to referencing the bullies or the kids in the hallways.

" I heard a yelp from across the hall to see a girl run away. " how did she not get knocked out like evry 1 else. i mean assuming she was in the hallway, and there were other kids in the hallway at the time of the attack, she shouldn't have been the only survivor. also, is this supposed to be a late reaction? i mean he started to glow purple!!! books were flying!!! how is this girl only screaming at the end??? plus u used the word "yelp" so i assume it was like a brief scream not "aaaaaaaah" only "ohmigawd". if she wasn't there in the hallway at the time u started glowing and levitating books n shit and only there after dilen "got tired" then how does she knows it's him. i mean sure, he's the only one standing and everyone else is like unconscious at his feet *plus* he has blood all over his fucking face, but maybe the levitating books smacked his face, he started bleeding, everyone else died, he survived, he's looking around wondering what just happened.

jfc girl don't make assumptions!!1 or i mean.. dont have late reactions!!!

5) "I tried my best to get away as a stumbled out the door, unable to comprehend what could happen to me after they told the police, or anyone about my powers."

1st of all, "as I* stumbled out the door" also who says anybody will believe that girl lol i mean she saw floating books and purple person .... on the other hand, this girl is a dick!!! if she has been there since the beginning and wtached ian n the gang beat u up then like she understands why u turned purple!! i mean i would turn purple too!1

6) continuing #4- "I heard a yelp from across the hall to see a girl run away." <--- "I heard a yelp from across the hall and turned to see a girl running away.*" (or soemthing) like this sentence shows no sign of u turning to look at the girl/even noting that she's in his line of vision all u say she's across the hall and u hear her.

expanding more on beginning of #4) >between classes >no one is in hallways >random ass girl is in hallway >if there are actually people in the hallway they dont seem to give 2 shits that someone is getting beat up