Notes

Allow me to open up to you so maybe you can understand my mindset because apparently nobody doesn't.

Alright check it.
I have a lot of built up anger. I get frustrated very easily because I don't open up to people. I don't trust anybody.... People change daily one moment they're saying they want you next minute they're ready to give up on you. I've been a outkast all my life. Nobody really understands me. I thought I was able to open up to you and you would always be there. We've been through similar issues that's why I was feeling you so hard. I know I wasn't around as much as you would want me to be. But I just hate getting close to people because of shit like this happens. I let my guard down for you I accepted you for you and you accepted me for me. But I honestly don't know what to think anymore. I've started drinking more than I should, I feel like I'm taking my grandad's trait. I don't want to end up down the same road as him. But it seems like that's the only thing that can make me tolerate things nowadays. I was sober since last Thursday up until yesterday when you decided to pull that stunt. It just bothers me because you're willing to give up so easily over someone that's only around because it's basically tax season. Then more than likely they will bounce again. I never thought in a millionaire years would I ever talk to someone that is pregnant with another guy's child. Made an exception but however it was worth it in the long run. It's basically the same cycle over again that happened nearly a year ago. That's maybe why I snapped so bad yesterday. Literally broke down my door, I've never been so pissed off in my life. Like you don't understand. Like I had no conscience, didn't care what the aftermath was. I've never been in that position before. I've never been so disappointed in someone like this. ( No offense ). Just switch the roles and picture if I did the actions that you did to me yesterday and tell me how you would feel. You have to think about others before you do anything that could ruin something that's important. Like it's going to be hard for me to trust you. Because you make yourself so vulnerable towards him. He know's you're scared of him & that's why he's acting like he is. You even re-added him on facebook. Now he's going to be snooping about what you're doing. Like why??? I just don't get why do you replace good with evil? Like what have I done to you? Like the day I was pissed at you I didn't even snap on you because your child was in the room. That's called respect. You don't find that, that much nowadays so I'm just shocked you went that route & had the audacity to allow the dude to stay all day, and then drive him home? Like come on. If that was Emily, Jessica you would've been livid. You say you're trying to push me away to not get me in the middle of this stuff. So if I go what will you do? Be in the same situation and be abused 24/7? Verbally and physically? Is that really what you want to deal with? I really would've given you the world mentally and physically. But yeah you know. Really hope you respond bub.