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first: i live by myself im 17 years old i got a apartment and a car.
i used to be inlove with a girl her name is erica, i used to take care of her and i used to do everything for her i really loved her, i took care of her, i used to tell her to quit her job and ill pay money for you , i was always there for her i tried to make her feel happy i did everything i possibly could but... she cheated on me she let another guy touch her, i was really hurt because i really didnt hurt her or anything, i took care of her i really loved her, i know i dont show that im depressed or anything, and thats because when i was young, my father used to beat me every day and when i ask for help he beat me even more, im afraid to ask for help actually im just trumatized to ask for help.
i used to self harm my self everyday and no one know about this, not my sister or my mother these two people are really close to my heart, and they barely know anything about me, there was just one person that knew a little about me, again my ex erica she knew some things about me, it really hurt to see someone that u treated good just stabs ur back that easy..
i dont know what i did that made her do these things i really dont know, life is fucked and alot of evil people in this world from what i learned in life {dont trust anyone even tho they are good people} this is the key of life.
really fucked up life i live in, people keep telling me move on from your past life but its not easy i v'been trying for years moving on from my past but i cant, every night i think of my past i cry myself to sleep, and idgf that im a man, crying dosent make you weak, crying is better than killing my self,crying is better than letting all of ur anger on someone,crying is better than hurting your sel, i used to hurt my self but i stopped and i thank god for it, anyways thats all i have to say one advice from is 'dont fall inlove'
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