Notes

This month has been my complete downfall, everything came crashing down, its a like a sandcastle i tried so hard to build just keeps falling down no matter how hard I try. My skin has been breaking out with scars everywhere and I have no makeup to cover it up, my hair hasn't been looking good at all, my grades are declining and schoolwork is just so stressful, my room is a mess and the floors are so dirty but I have no motivation to do anything, im running out of clothes, i keep wearing the same thing every week, i feel depressed almost everyday, I keep staying up late and waking up late and not having enough to time to do my makeup and look pretty, but I forgot I have acne scars so that just makes everything 10x worse for me, i get so stressed i start picking at my skin and I dont even realize it sometimes, and now my parents wont let me go trick or treating with my friends. Everyone has been having relationships except me, its always been that way, no matter my personality or my looks i havent had my first realtionship yet ever. I soemtimes have to lie about it because its embarrassing to me to see that im the one who can't pull. I keep procrastinating, i never clean my room or do my homework or go to sleep, what is wrong with me. This month out of all months has been the worse so far. I'm not sure if things will get better but im hoping it will because if not, i won't hesitate to end it all. I hate my life. My incecurities went up, it went from being insecure about my eye bags and oily bangs, to my acne scars, big forhead, bad hair, my nose, my mouth, my flat chest, everything. I can't take this anymore I have no one else to talk to this about other than myself and the internet. Thats all that I do, talk, watch, and listen to the internet. I feel my life slowly grasping away from my touch. Im such a sore loser.
Hoping next month would be a bit better than this.