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Sensei :
1. @WillSensei_ : @DoD_Fleur lebih baik jangan bilingual.
2. @Hansensei_ : @DoD_Fleur ceritanya menarik and has deep meaning
3. @YuSensei_ : @DoD_Fleur Kasihan orgnya :o
Dr bahasa di paragraf awal menggambarkan dia sombong/? Tp kemudian galau stl kehilangan semuanya..
AH :
1. @slypcr : @DoD_Fleur saya mikir banyak emosi disana haha. Bagus kok tapi mungkin kalau pemilihan kata lebih diperhatikan mungkin bisa lebih menarik.
DSP :
1. @tcxcphilite : @DoD_Fleur [skin colour, hair colour, eyes colour harusnya ditaruh di bawah ' ')/
Perhatikan lagi ketidakadaan spasi sebelum tanda tanya serta keberadaan spasi setelah koma.
Background story-nya sebenarnya mau komentar terlalu mary-sue... Cuman ternyata ada plot twist. Congrats! Not something I had expected at the beginning.Bahasa Inggrisnya ada beberapa yang kurang 'a' atau ditambahkan akhiran yang sebenarnya tidak perlu.
But overall, great job! Mau jadi penulis novel jangan-jangan? That's all.
Luar Wynegard :
1. @SJKIDS_ : @DoD_Fleur bagus, cukup kreatif ceritanya
2. @fkgreych : @DoD_Fleur oh, gitu. Unique kok=)) soalnya panjang amat/?
3. @RPP_Miku : @DoD_Fleur [ bagus, kok. Menarik. Tapi mungkin akan lebih menarik lagi kalau ketikannya /lebih/ rapi (lagi). ]
4. @wuyifarn90 : @DoD_Fleur storyline yang tidak terduga, penulisannya membuat pembaca menaikkan satu alis/? at last cool!
5. @maxchng88 : @DoD_Fleur sempat kesal dengan tokoh yang menyombongkan diri- tiba2 alur berubah. saya suka bahasa dan plot twistnya. Kembangkan karyanya👍
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