Notes

I cannot stop thinking how I would feel if she ever left me and I can already feel it sad, heartbroken, scared probably would end up crying so hard I'd be a mess I have this weird feeling telling me not to get tk attached because it will only make it worse but its to late for that. I'm thinking of taking a day for myself but my fears of being replaced scared all I can think of is "what if they leave me for somebody else" like an ex, ex best friend anything like that because no matter what they say that thought comes back to me so quickly my fear of losing her the pain I feel thinking that is like she did i trust her 100% but i know no matter what they will always have something special I ger scared because the videos I see are always like "my lover is talking to their ex" or "they left me for their ex" even though she says they are friends and no matter what they will be stuck like that because the thought of losing them is bad. but they just makes me feel even worse knowing they understand each other better then I ever will understand her it breaks me down knowing they're friends and probably talk about the old stuff they use to I understand it's wrong to think this way but I overthink to much and get jealous it's hard for me to accept the fact they're friends or best friends i wouldn't wanna ruin their friendship because I'd feel even worse and I don't understand how I can't describe my feelings when talking to her but ig I'm sending a screenshot of this because it's the only right thing the only way she'll understand how I really feel I try to learn that your friends but it's so hard to now I wouldn't wanna break up their friendship but I'm hurting I love my girlfriend to death and would never leave her she dose so much for me and I can never seem to do anything but cause problems but maybe saying how I really feel will fix everything right? love if your reading this I'm sorry if I hurt you by this or anything sorry if I upset you Ik you wanna be his friend I would never break up your friendship unless you really wanted to do it but as your choice bc you didn't want to if I don't answer I may have taken a break from everything for awhile response if you'd like. i get it if you want a break or something bc im alot to handle sorry for being like this or never understanding stuff you say. i trust you with everything in me when you tell me sweet stuff pls dont forget me while im offline for awhile who knows i might come back, love ellie