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i just wanna die so much i hate myself and everything about me i just dont like myself anymore i find myself blaming myself for everything i do it doest help i HATE my dads girlfriend he loves her more than me i was so obbessed with having a mother figure in my life but i found out all i need too do is talk too my mom.i find myself banging my head aganst anything i id it tonight so much my legs felt numb i just love hurting myself i wish i never existed i wish i was like my mom she is so pretty is easily loved and just so confident i wish i was like her but anyway,back too my dad,sorry i get distraced .tonight me and heather where argueing and my dad came and blamed it all on me hes so obssed with just yelling at me and telling me too leave but then he crys when i say i wanna live with mom its like im a puppet and hes just playing games with me im trapped just me a blade a wall a lighter anything i can hurt myself with i kinda just wanna die and my dad i KNOW HE KNOWS MAYBELLE IS THE ONLY REASON IM NOT ON A ROPE yet he still wants too take her from me.whenever hes mad at anything he runs too me he takes stuff away makes me clean anything yet he still hit me when i cut myself then he calls mom saying i dont love him maybe hes right when he cryed i did not but when mom cryed all i thought about was how much this upset her i blamed myself forever for making her cry i find myself seeing myself as the misfit of the family my own grandma favors my cousinmy friends i often hear talk behind my back about me but atleast they pretend to care about me .

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