Notes

commitment:
now a day everyone has something they are committed to whether it be there phones or the jobs or their spouses. everyone is committed to something for me its silver whether that be the silver jewelry I saw on the girl I passed by or the silver on the razors I use to shave I love it. over the commitment to sliver slowly grows it goes from the small piece of sliver on my razor to the small blade in the pencil sharpener to the silver on the kitchen knives after a while my commitment slowly changes from the sliver of the blade to the red lines it left. To the sting on my jeans rubbing against my thighs and even the pain of the water tricking down my skin. I committed to the art I drew each line representing a thought I had. "Why can't you get out of bed", "seriously go take a shower", "you stink", "how long has it been since you brushed your hair", "eww why would you say that", " there is so many bottles on your floor ", "their disappointment in you ", " you shouldn't be here." I committed to that feeling of emptiness and disappointment I committed to the red paint that covered my skin and stained my towel's. I committed to the hopelessness and despair, and I committed to the fact that I couldn't save myself from it I committed to a lot of things but now looking back at how deeply I clumped to those feelings I realized that maybe in the end I have committed to nothing but suicide.