Notes

New Year's Resolutions - Another One Bites the Dust
It's February, the month of romantic love, the weather-related predictions of groundhog Punxsutawney Phil, and the ritual abandonment of all of our New Year's resolutions. We tried-oh, how exactly we tried. We enrolled in new gym memberships. We tested works of Great Literature from the library. We purged our pantry of simple carbs and stocked through to wheat grass, tempeh, and kale. Yet here most of us are, a month later: still flabby, ill-read, and guiltily filching our kids Ritz Bitz snack packs and eating handfuls of Lucky Charms from the box.

What the heck happened?

Now here's where most of us turn to self-flagellation, in the event we don't already feel bad enough: I'm lazy. I have no self-control. And today that I've blown it, I would as well spend all of those other year lying during intercourse, reading cheesy celebrity magazines and stuffing my face with Ho Ho's.

No, back up. What the heck really happened?

Most resolutions fail not because you're some spectacular brand of loser, but as the resolutions were doomed right away. An especially common way to torpedo a resolution is by choosing something you think you ought to do but have no actual passion for doing (example: read Siddhartha after getting the kids to bed). Another way to tank a resolution is to pick one because another person thinks it's wise. And that means you join a gym because your BFF says it's where all of the moms follow elementary school drop-off. Or your husband got a deal on a family group membership. Or because you read somewhere that you're more likely to exercise if you lots of money riding on the offer.

But mostly? Additional info bite the dust because although we've the best intentions on earth to make solid, positive changes inside our lives, we've no actual, well-articulated arrange for carrying these changes out, or for handling the inevitable stumbles on the path from here to there without giving up altogether. You want to lose weight, so we make an effort to deny ourselves well known foods without ever addressing our beliefs about food, our fear and loathing of our bodies, or how much we might be relying on eating for comfort-so we're going to need to find alternative activities that bring similar joy.

We want to be more fit, so we throw ourselves at an ambitious exercise plan without considering what kinds of movement feel good to your bodies or truly knowing that it will take slow, small, intentional turtle steps to obtain from your body we now have to the body we wish. We want to expand our minds, learn new things, and also have fresh ideas to discuss. But instead of hearing our essential selves-what excites us to take into account? What articles, authors, blog writers, podcasts, even Television shows light us up?-we dutifully try to plow through some freshman lit reading set of the great classics.

Change is good. But change is hard. That's because there's a genuine section of our brains whose entire job it really is to make sure we don't change anything. Call it the lizard brain, call it the amygdala, call it your social self: anything you call it, it is the section of you that seeks to safeguard you by keeping you in your comfort zone. It likes everything just as it is. And it'll resist your attempts to accomplish things differently at the top of its screechy little voice.

Having an idea, getting support, understanding that there will be setbacks, and taking small, intentional steps toward your goals will quiet that voice, just enough you could hear it for the frightened child it truly is. There, there, you can tell it. I've got this. You set off and play in the corner over there. Me, I'll make some really cool stuff happen. And then you'll. Really, truly. There's nothing magical about January 1. You've got all of those other year-heck, you've got the rest of your life-to become the person you always knew you could be.

Laura McReynolds is really a certified life coach specializing in "second acts," midlife course corrections, in the event that you will, designed to assist you to dig deep, dream big, and find the life you were meant to live. Have a look at her website and blog at
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