Notes

New Year's Resolutions - A DIFFERENT ONE Bites the Dust
It's February, the month of romantic love, the weather-related predictions of groundhog Punxsutawney Phil, and the ritual abandonment of most of our New Year's resolutions. We tried-oh, how we tried. We enrolled in new gym memberships. We checked out works of Great Literature from the library. We purged our pantry of simple carbs and stocked through to wheat grass, tempeh, and kale. Yet here many of us are, per month later: still flabby, ill-read, and guiltily filching our children Ritz Bitz snack packs and eating handfuls of Lucky Charms out of the box.

What on earth happened?

Now here's where many of us turn to self-flagellation, in the event we don't already feel bad enough: I'm lazy. I have no self-control. And today that I've blown it, I might as well spend the rest of the year lying during intercourse, reading cheesy celebrity magazines and stuffing my face with Ho Ho's.

No, back up. What on earth really happened?

Most resolutions fail not because you're some spectacular make of loser, but as the resolutions were doomed right away. An especially common solution to torpedo an answer is by choosing something you imagine you ought to do but have no actual passion for doing (example: read Siddhartha after obtaining the kids to bed). Another way to tank a resolution is to pick one because another person thinks it's wise. Which means you join a gym because your BFF says it's where all the moms follow elementary school drop-off. Or read more got a deal on a family group membership. Or as you read somewhere you are more prone to exercise if you've got a lot of money riding on the deal.

But mostly? Our resolutions bite the dust because although we have the best intentions on the planet to make solid, positive changes in our lives, we have no actual, well-articulated arrange for carrying these changes out, or for handling the inevitable stumbles on the road from here to there without quitting altogether. You want to lose weight, so we make an effort to deny ourselves our favorite foods without ever addressing our beliefs about food, our fear and loathing of our anatomies, or how much we may be counting on eating for comfort-so we're going to need to find other activities that bring similar joy.

We want to become more fit, so we throw ourselves at an ambitious fitness plan without considering what types of movement feel good to our bodies or truly knowing that it will require slow, small, intentional turtle steps to obtain from the body we currently have to the body we wish. You want to expand our minds, learn new things, and also have fresh ideas to talk about. But instead of hearing our essential selves-what excites us to think about? What articles, authors, blog writers, podcasts, even Television shows light us up?- Additional info make an effort to plow through some freshman lit reading list of the great classics.

Change is good. But change is hard. That's because there's a genuine part of our brains whose entire job it really is to be sure we don't change anything. Call it the lizard brain, call it the amygdala, call it your social self: whatever you call it, it is the section of you that seeks to safeguard you by keeping you in your safe place. It likes everything in the same way it is. And it will resist your attempts to accomplish things differently at the top of its screechy little voice.

Having a plan, getting support, understanding that there will be setbacks, and taking small, intentional steps toward your goals will quiet that voice, just enough you can hear it for the frightened child it truly is. There, there, it is possible to tell it. I've got this. You go off and play in the corner over there. Me, I'm going to make some really cool stuff happen. And you'll. Really, truly. There is nothing magical about January 1. You've got the rest of the year-heck, you've got the others of your life-to become the person you always knew you could be.

Laura McReynolds is a certified life coach focusing on "second acts," midlife course corrections, if you will, designed to help you dig deep, dream big, and find the life you were meant to live. Check out her website and blog at http://lifeworkscoaching.com/
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