Notes

No don't you dare act like this is all on me damnit. I knew that I was hurting you and that I was leading you on and I tried my best to keep distance from you, I even told you that I didn't like you in that way and such and that I knew what was happening and I apologized and I beat myself up everyday cuz I was hurting you. I stopped talking to you and I gave you space and all that stuff, but you cannot put the full blame on me or anything like that. No, don't you dare reply. I fucking destroyed myself and blamed myself but no, you also are at fault for continuing to talk to me and for not taking my warning when I said at the beginning that I would hurt you and all that. I get you liked me, but I told you all throughout the time, I told you the truth. I know I was a fucking asshole and I really beat myself up for it. So don't you dare make me feel like I'm complete shit. I know I fucked up most between us and I want to die everyday cuz of it. I hurt myself cuz I was hurting you and I tried to stay away, but you dare say this is all me. That I was the reason for the outcome. I kept my distance after a while, but you came back and you know that I'm a freaking asshole. Well damn it all then, this is all my fault and I caused it all and I should fucking die, which I think bout everyday. Before I go tho, don't you forget that I didn't ask you almost everyday what was the problem. Don't say I didn't notice cuz I did, and I've asked you many times to tell me the truth. You kept lying to me and such. I trusted you to tell me the truth and I didn't force you to tell me. So don't you say that I did not notice shit that was happening. I was being honest with you throughout the whole time. No I'm not mad at you nor do I hate you. It's just frustration I have for myself and I really am sorry for taking it out on you and everything. Before you go telling people what happened tho, make sure you include how I did notice the problems and how I actually confronted you on them. Don't you act like you give a fuck bout rn either cuz I know you do hate me and I know you want me to die just like I want myself to die. I want you to enjoy life and don't want into assholes like myself. Do whatever makes you happy and don't give up like how I gave up on life. I'm done here and I don't mean to sound rude towards you. Bye Sheena.
DEC 5TH, 8:07AM

I didn't mean to blame you for anything. You didn't do anything wrong. I was just speaking out of frustration towards myself. This will be my final message to you and with it, I will apologize for all I've done and for being a blind fool just cuz I'm broken and I found comfort in you. You have every right to hate me and to say whatever you want. You did nothing but good between us and all I've managed to do was waste your time and emotions. There's no excuse for what I did. I'm just an jerk and that's that. I hope you find that better someone I've always told you bout and I hope things with RO and such get resolved. If there was anything, anything that I could do to help then I'd do it. Whether if I tell them how messed up of a person I am or say infront of the whole school how much of a jerk I am to everyone then I will do so. Anything, I'll do it cuz the least I can do is owe you my life for ruining yours. So like I said, this will be the final message. Whether if you hate me and such, you're still no stranger to me and so I'll be here for if you need anything. Goodbye. Live a long healthy life and don't waste your time with douchebags like me.
DEC 6TH, 12:41AM
thank you for the fun times. and thank you also for the earlier message. That's all I needed to know; what I did wrong. Have fun with life. Stay healthy and always love yourself. Never hurt yourself. Appreciate who you are and those around you who love you.
Good bye chris. thank you for the memories.
TUE 6:22PM

Hey, happy birthday. I hope you had/have a great day.
I wish I had the guts to say this to you in person, but I can't now cuz I messed up. I won't go into a whole essay bout what I want to say cuz no matter what I say, it won't change the damage I've done. If there's anywhere I could fix you leaving RO, such as talking to them since I'm the problem, then please let me know. If you think it will, then send me one of their emails. You don't have to like me anymore or care bout or anything like that. I just want to try and right my wrong, even tho I can't get rid of it all. I'll stop here cuz I know me messaging you is bad and that you probably won't even look at it cuz of how bad I've hurt you and how much time I've wasted. If you do read this, please do know that I did know it was your bday today. If you couldn't tell, I drew like the instagram part and such on that area of your ghetto bday card. I wish you a happy birthday. I wish you a great day and everyday after. You know you're always welcomed around the range at any time.

I'm sorry for bothering you right now and such
Sorry I don't have the balls to talk to you in person
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