how is your health? i hope you're okay, how is everyone at home?how's your school going?by the way thank you for opening my letter🙏❤️ are you i'm fine thank you if you ask how are you, i am fine thank you, i have fulfilled me too my childhood dream [my father who was a pilot for 34 years told me about aeroplanes and physics during my secondary school graduation and i was interested at the time (he asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up) after those times, he made me take private lessons for English, maths and physics. ] we can say that i am in a place that no one can know. 🙂 my late grandmother would have missed talking to your little bird mom..[i grew up without a biological mother, my grandmother was like my mum like a flower my grandfather and grandmother brought me up wonderfully and i owe them a lot... i will raise my children as they raised me (one day when i have a child) i will offer my children opportunities to see the world, they will decide for themselves where they will live they will establish their order over time and i will support them..] Allah have mercy, may he rest in peace i love you dear grandma🥲🥲 that's why i kiss your mother's hand a lot but i send my greetings and love.. last year i realised my mistakes and that i was being a jerk. i couldn't muster up the courage to come to you to apologise i didn't know how to talk to you because i was a coward!.. may Allah damn me😀😀[although it is possible to go to girls without emotions i can't approach my girlfriend who i have been in love with for a long time because my heart beats fast😂 so this is one of the biggest fears i guess you have watched a similar film / series or there is no one who has not experienced it, also i turned 21 i've never had a girlfriend (other than you) and even though i'm an atheist i haven't slept with/kissed anyone because i have a disease my immune system is very weak , for some reason he 🙂(believe it or not it's all real🙂🙂)] from the inner voice; why are you writing from a different account oh my god are you so obsessed, are you mentally ill, etc. i know you'll say i know i shouldn't write, you're right.. whether you admit it or not you are my first love[you really became my first love i can't fall in love with anyone else easily (even if i'm a womaniser) but you are my only strong childhood love...]however you didn't notice me because you were unaware. i say you don't realise because you didn't realise that i loved you madly in primary school, that i fixed my hair to open up to you in secondary school, that i looked at you all day long, that i smiled.. (ahhh does a loved one notice someone who loves..🙂 ) if you are apologising to me for this no i should apologise instead. it was my fault for not opening up to you. i had significant hearing problems as a child and you know that. therefore i want to apologise sincerely in advance.🙏☺️.. when i was seventeen i had a high fever for six months due to AOSD. as a baby i lost my hearing at six months due to the same disease. during my stay in the hospital my cousin who worked as a doctor in the hospital stayed with me all day(he looked at me the whole time). you won't believe it. during my treatment i had a scary dream. i suddenly woke up, i remember having difficulty breathing (it turns out i really love you, so you should be happy 🙂 ) . when you took it out of my pocket at work, it was as if you were calling me (i thought you were calling about my kids) it was an emergency, you shouted that the house was on fire, i left my work and went to run, i remember when i came to our house, the house burnt down in front of my eyes, the house collapsed, my knees collapsed, i lost my 3 children, our 4 month old baby in the womb and my wife, all my loved ones.. i can't explain the disaster was a nightmare .. what about you? where have you been? the whole year? i became the one who hated him the most.. 🤷🏻😔 my only question why didn't you love me? is it because i'm deaf? i'm not surprised? why do you know? it's not very good to be biased. anyway i understand that you don't have to love me i'm sorry i couldn't make you love me i can't get.. those back times back i wish i could... nevertheless i respect your decisions as long as you make them because it is your most natural right... if only you loved me then we would be very lucky, i used to study ceng (computer engineering) for you i used to live with you in WA/CA (but i became a pilot because of my loneliness i have some friends from liverpool i stayed in los angeles for 2 months 3 months ago, they were very good friends... ) you know? i was imagining you in my head while i was there🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂) we used to walk around the island together all we used to eat alone with you every evening by the sea, we would go with you in a caravan smiling(but i will never go with anyone from you because they don't give confidence, they can kill me at any moment therefore..) we would set up a tent quietly in a forest where no one could come and we would drink tea / coffee (my favorite is tea😅) everything would have changed, we would have lived in the same house, our marriage would never have ended like the elderly.. was not fortune🙂.. but i'm someone who likes an without exaggeration and simple life . do you remember? i saw you on my way to english class in beylikduzu i was very jealous when i saw your boyfriend and i gave up going🙂🙂🙂 (it was completely coincidental) anyway let's get to the point why didn't i forget the moment i saw you? because it's hard to forget that a person loves,isn't it? for example if i tell you that i know the location of the black dot on your right hand, your middle school number, your date of birth? as you can see, no one knows you, but we can say that you are very little known (most of them are that's why i said) if i say i am wrong it may be a lie🙂🙂.. i found a life with a KR origin that i admire, we met (we met in the library) we've been getting along well for 1.7 years we live in the same house (we stay in different apartment) i'm lonely because i have no feelings for him. (i have someone in mind, it's you 😀) i'm not alone, don't worry, in order not to be alone, sometimes i go to my friend's party every evening or i bought 2 dogs, they are quite cute, they are brave, they are smart.. that's why i'm so happy let me introduce you: the black dog's name is "astro", the white dog's name is "bella" (if you want to see my dog, i'll leave a link below) did you like their names? 🙂🙂before i left for england i asked my grandfather if he wanted to come with me. he refused and said he wanted to work in a veterinary clinic again even though he was retired. i gave him permission to do so. 🤷🏻 .. if you talk about my father we are far away from each other because he works as a pilot in the united arab emirates, so he cannot come.. speaking of my father he approves of you whether we're together 🤫🤫 or not because you're my first love..but he doesn't approve of anyone else. example why doesn't he approve of my Korean friend? because she doesn't trust him, she does everything to protect me here that's my real hero😍😍 you know that 10. i started to work by myself to study at a university abroad without falling in love with anyone from you in the class and without being a the libertine's.. when i came liverpool i never fell in love with anyone from you not an ounce until then my heart was like a stone.. anyway i don't know what i can do with the flight licence after that, for my future maybe in the future in the UK or in the USA; i could live and work in CA/NY one of the US states but the unsafe states are very scary so i could probably work here (UK)... but for now i have no plans.. anyway do you have a life? i don't know if you do make sure that he doesn't upset you, that he loves you... the important thing is your happiness i don't want you to be upset.. by the way, the white dress suits you very (my favorite was white and blue ) your boyfriend is very lucky 🙂🙂 i hope you will continue marriage for a long time like the elderly🙂🙂.. from now on i stop thinking and writing about someone i have been in love with for fifteen years because it hurts my heart to think about him every day every day forgive me ..💔 🙏 take care of yourselves. goodbye my unrealized childhood sweetheart 💙
