Notes

I'm so tired of being nice to everyone who doesn't return my kindness back. I put on a smiling facade everyday once I get to school. Everyone annoys me, they're all so fake that it's obvious they hate me back. I know no one likes me, they just pretend because I gives them affection, attention, I give them all of my snacks when they're hungry even though I'm starving, I give out free homework answers and more. I care too much about what others think about me. It's really annoying. I care so much about my looks that its unhealthy. I'm so insecure about my weight, school made me insecure about everything. I hate my forehead, it's so big it makes my face look hideous. I hate my smile, I have ugly teeth, so I hate smiling. I hate my eyes, I always have bags under my eyes, making me look tire no matter what I do. I hate my teeth; my teeth are the reason I hate smiling so much. I hate my chest, it's so flat and unattractive. I hate my nose the most, it's so long and bumpy, if I had a nicer nose then I wouldn't be so insecure about everything. I hate my body, I look disgusting. I hate waking up and looking in the mirror. I wake up early to put makeup on just so I can be decent looking for school. If I look ugly then I'll get made fun of. I can't even wear clothes I'm comfortable in. If I wear what I want, then it "put of style" or "doesn't look good on me" or else I'm not "trying hard enough". I hate life so much. I can't even breath when I'm in places with too many people. I'm just a kid. I'm scared for high school. Everyone is so pretty, and I look disgusting. I try, try, and try to do so many things just so I can have a nice-looking body and it never works. why am I so unlucky. why can't I just have at least one pretty feature about me? I put tape around my waist just so I can appear thinner sometimes. I have these gross thick legs and I hate it. I wish I could have a nicer body. My mom always tells me "I'm just a kid, wait" but I've been hearing that for so many years. How long do I have to wait? how long do I have to wait just so I can be a little pretty? how long do I have to deal with all the bullying I've gone through?