Notes

List of Trauma(?)
- no door, haven't had one for two years
- have to change clothes without said door + my dad is creepy lol (has made comments on me changing in the past.)
- not allowed to listen to music in my room, or have headphones listening to music
- NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A MOBILE PHONE
- not allowed to have friends, or go out at all
- have to stay inside to focus on studies, or do my seemingly never ending list of chores, or watch siblings
- if i have friends they'll purposely try to cut me from them saying they don't like them, stop me from hanging out with them, attempt to cut contact me with them via phone or school, talk about how bad they are in general or as an influence on me, say that they're better than me and i should be more like them, they're using me for good grades etc
-
SLAVERY
- expected to take care of my siblings every day (3 and 4 years old)
- on weekdays at least 3 hours in the morning and then from 5;30pm (if not earlier) to 10 at night
(man that sounds worse typing it out)
- give them lunch almost every day
- make them dinner, or fix them a plate
- change their diapers
- make them tea before bed
- even have to put them to bed myself, change their clothes, give them a bath if mom "doesn't feel like it" (which is often)
KITCHEN HOES
- to clean the kitchen, every night
-the dishes are piled up out of the sink (i actually have a video of everything i have to do-)
- spray and wipe down the counter +stove
-wash the pots and pans used throughout the day
-sweep the floors
- tidy up the living room and couch cushions
- load up the dishwasher, run the dishwasher
- take out the garbage
- and turn back on the alarm
if even one of these steps are missed my mom gives(?) constant beratement
have been time when she wakes me up early to fi the mistakes + extra chores like mopping the entire kitchen + living room, sweeping the stairs (each one individually) then vacuuming them to name a few
she gives me extra chores or says bs like 'how hard is it to do this properly
FINANCES
actually yeah i should probably mention the fact that they've stolen hundreds of dollars from me when i was a minor and had NO JOB
- alr how do we word this bitch
- over the years i've had thousands of dollars taken from me by parents.
- when my mom had access to my finances hundreds of dollars was taken from my account with no explanation
- not allowed to have a job
- when my family member (specifically my grandma, not really allowed to have much contact with family) does give me money and it's not stolen, im then expected to pay for everything myself (food, clothes, even smaller things like a pack of gum)
- OR they'll try to "fine" me for things
- randomly blame me for something breaking (only conveniently happens when they know my grandma gives me money, or even when i had gotten money back from financial aid) and force me to pay for it, or even have me to pay for groceries for the ENTIRE house
- even when my family gave me cash, my room was ransacked and the money was stolen
FOOD (?)
- not allowed to cook anything
- but there's also no food in the house
- even when there is food in the fridge there's nothing available that i can eat without cooking........which im not allowed to do
- if i cook anything im expected to pay for the groceries by myself (NOT ALLOWED TO GET A JOB)
- CONSTANTLY questioning every food choice i make, if they ever see me eat anything whatsoever, or if im with them and eating something, gets to the point where i don't eat until they're sleeping
- case and point literally two days ago
the waiter asks what everyone wants to drink and when i say sprite my parents go into a frenzy about how bad it is and how i shouldn't be drinking it for the rest of the night, bringing it up in conversation and talking about how i need to watch my sugar and weight