Notes

Hey.
You're my best friend ever, and you know I love you, and I hope it's the same for me. But you're going off to collage soon and, I haven't even thought about it. I know I should, but I'm so overwhelmed with regret and what's happened that I can't focus. You have an ok family; you have a forever house with a mom and dad a brother and two sisters.
Though you don't have the best relationship with them, I'm still jealous. I don't have that. I can't hang out with you barely because I've moved, again. I was living with my cousin until my dad got out of jail and they both forced me to move in. I didn't want to. I didn't want to leave my old home or leave you. My mom lives far away, and I barely know her. You are my only friend, my only source of freedom, although It's hard to admit that because it puts pressure on you.
You've got a full ride scholarship to a good collage from sports. But I don't even play them and I'm too poor to afford college, I don't play sports. It's what I regret not doing. I want to change sports now, but I can't. I'm not doing what I'm good at It's all too much at once. I don't know what I'm doing with my life, and it feels like no one's there for me. I just want everything to slow down. I'm afraid I can't keep up. I can't. And I've been to worried about you.
You have a full scholarship, yet your parents didn't even care. They were worried about money still, like food and gas. At least your siblings cared. They threw you a party. And while you did all that I stayed at home playing games and watching tv in my room. I'm happy for you but I'm too worried.
I want to be more exciting like you. Have friends like you, a boy/girlfriend. Have a family, play sports, be talkative, be pretty. but I'm not. you're better. And I'll always be there for you. I'd like the same to. I want people to be there for me.
Love you. bye.