Notes

Coming To Terms With Death - How To Accept The Death Of A Loved One
The funeral service for my Mom proved more difficult than my sister, Diane, and I had anticipated. There were more details to cover with the funeral home than we had anticipated. Besides notifying relatives and friends, there were details to manage we had not given much thought such as Mom's insurance policy, locating the paper work on her burial plot, a burial dress, choosing a casket, and more.

Those who choose to come back here, never fear death again. They even look forward with pleasant anticipation to their death in the course of the natural way.

DO offer up an expression of sympathy. Often we are at a loss for words when encountering something as final as death. Simply saying "I'm sorry for your loss" is usually enough. Be respectful and listen attentively when spoken to, and offer your own words of condolence.

In these cases, they instinctively try to make them aware about their presence, trying to touch them or speak to them, but no one hears their voices or notices their touches. They are cut off from the physical dimension: their conscious (that is, actually, the person) is in another dimension. With the time, the "died" persons start to feel relief, peace and even happiness. Later, they all experience "the tunnel", the white light, the angelic beings, etc. Very often, many of them do not want to return to their bodies.



Basket of Flowers: This can be either with or without an actual handle; it is just a variety of flowers that is sent to either the funeral home or home of the deceased.

When you gather the photos, get some information about them. Find out the time, place, people and occasion of the photos. And when you do, include that as a caption. If you are unsure, look on the back! There is often a description - and some photo processing labs from the 1960s onwards helpfully printed the processing date on the back of the picture.


Jane Bissler, PhD, writes about identity change in "My Child has Died and so Have I!: Grieving the Loss of an Adolescent Child." Her article is published in the January 2009 issue of "The Forum," the printed newsletter of the Association for Death Education and Counseling. The death of a child takes the parent's breath away, Bissler says, and changes the parent's personality.

The beauty of death is that it takes us to the next step. Death is a revival of the faulty put to rest. And death only marks the beginning of our next journey. To this, I say the end is near and death marks the end, for change.
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