Notes

Confronting Your Fears
Did you understand that "fear" is a thing that just about affects everyone in some way or another, which it is also a thing that we shouldn't be scared of either. Instead, we should learn to embrace it because, by overcoming fear, we need not worry about the problem anymore. Thus this would allow us to enjoy life a whole lot happier.

Sure, for some, fear can be an adrenaline rush and for a few, fear can virtually ruin their entire lives in a single way or other. To what extent or degree that fear would ruin someone's life is dependent on what much that fear affects that individual's life, and their day to day activities.

For example, if a person has a fear of heights or flying then it might pretty much render that they would much would rather take holidays that involves transport by car, and anything else that involves height such as going on an escalator, riding in a lift, or climbing up a ladder would be a non-visit area.

By all means it won't ruin their lives completely, nonetheless it would definitely have a profound influence on their daily lives and those around them i.e. close family and friends.

However on another note, there are many other styles of fear and something that most commonly affects everyone for some reason or other is:

"The Fear of Failure."

It is also probably regarded as one of the greatest fears people will experience during some point within their lives.

Fear of failure can be regarded as a thing that was influenced ever since our childhood lives. The reason why I state that is that whenever we were a child, whenever we did something amiss, our parents, teachers, guardians etc... may possibly grill us to death with criticism and comments about what we did wrong, why we were so useless, and that failure had not been a option.

Actually, we were instilled with the theory that failure just about meant Armageddon, end of the planet, that if we failed, we were useless and that they were wasting their time with us, since we didn't achieve what they wanted.

The problem is that they didn't realise or recognize that, if you instil the fear of failure in a child from an early age, it would have an unhealthy profound effect on their later lives, that could be passed onto another generation.

That effect can be described as "daunting incompetency"

"Daunting incompetency" is similar to having a psychological mental leash effect where when someone is extremely criticised to a point where, when fear develops beyond a certain stage. It has an psychological haunting effect which places the individual in circumstances of mentality, where they think and think that whatever they do, it'll always be wrong, that they can never do anything right, and they are always continuously being accessed and monitored.

Additionally, it also has the power to make someone feel powerless and result in a void in one's own self-confidence, which also makes them vulnerable to the effects to be struggling to make decisions for themselves, and have to trust others to choose for them instead.

Obviously as with everything in life is, not everyone will establish this type of mentality or such mind-set, because surprisingly they're people who have yet to find or experienced failure.

Strange as that may sound, but you can find actual people in this world who have never failed in fact it is these individuals that should be the most worried because when failure comes knocking on their doorstep. One thing that's quite is that they would be the most unprepared to manage the aftermath.

Then there are those who have seen failure and because, worries of failure has already established such an devastating impact previously on the lives that they become extremely competitive, they will have the utmost desire to succeed at everything they do and be the very best at what they do, and they make an effort to protect themselves from the fear of failure no matter what.

What's most interesting to know is that those who have not yet discovered or experienced failure, and those who have and try to safeguard themselves from failure again, have the following in common. In the back of their mind, their inner self, they will have a common weakness.

That weakness is they simply cannot and can not accept failure in virtually any shape, form or any situation. When they do eventually fail, they panic, get highly stressed concerning the situation and some of these even develop: mental breakdowns, anger, depression, together with being easily agitated and impatient.

Traits and symptoms which if developed even more could lead to a potential disaster and possibly even requiring visits to a mental institution or requiring the aid of a psychiatrist.

Seriously, worries and thought of failure alone can exert great pressures on a person own mind, which without a break, or time to relax can have disastrous consequences, which the aforementioned could even possibly ruin an individuals' life.

However, fear whether than be in the form of phobias, or fear with regards to failure, or rejection can be controlled, overcome and dispelled.

The best way to approach it is to first establish the reasons of one's fear, then planning for a method to approach and overcome it. Did you know I use to be scared of spiders, creepy crawlies and other things that had 6 legs or more as a youngster. It terrified me so much that when I saw one, I would yell for either my mum or my younger brother, and leap off the floor to something, whether that was the sofa, a chair, table, bed etc...

Luckily now, I'm not so freaked out by then. My only guess is that perhaps as one matures, confidence grows and ultimately phobias disappear. Or it could have been that desperate situations caused for desperate measures.

You see, 1 day when it happened, out or nowhere, there was this spider suddenly scuttling across the kitchen floor. I freaked out at first, but I thought, easily don't stop this thing, what goes on if it crawls upstairs and enters my mouth whilst asleep.

And so I started to seek and destroy mission, find the spider and then give it a good bashing. Somehow it didn't end up like that.

Instead, I saw it enter a large part and I grabbed a glass jar and placed it over, trapping the indegent thing inside, which I had always feared from.

I contemplated about leaving it there to either my mum or my buddy ahead along and kill it, but as I was thinking, I began to look at it for some time, and considered to myself, they really aren't that scary at all. In fact, they may be the people that are scared of me instead.

And so I visited the lounge, grabbed a piece of card that i couldn't find (I had to create do with a piece of scrap paper folded in halves until it because quite stiff, then gently and carefully slipped it along the floor and beneath the glass jar, making certain it couldn't escape, quickly flipped it over, hand with paper on the end, walked to the front door, and let it go outside.

It was at that time, I felt somewhat strange. Strange in that yes, I did freak out a little initially, and yes, I did have intentions to kill it, but I didn't. Instead, I simply temporarily captured it in a glass jar and allow it free back beyond your house to do its own business.

However, the primary concern was that I also felt like I was free. jar of fears Clear of what I had feared for most of my childhood years and free for the reason that, I was able to confront these 8 legged invertebrates but still manage to remain calm, cool and for once, devoid of to rely on others to manage the situation.

It certainly signalled a new change for me. For a few, they may think I'm a wuss for being scared of a spider, but seriously, the sense of feeling you obtain when you have confronted your fear which has been scaring the hell out of you for many years is indescribable. So, for those who have any fears, confront them and if you have any doubts, seek assist in resolving them at first.

However if you actually want to be free from your fears whether that be spiders, heights, failure or other things that you may be afraid of, you need to be prepared to do something steps towards overcoming it and acknowledge that only you yourself can overcome your fear and that it first starts with you changing you mentality perspective.

Remember:

"People who succeed are those who can overcome their very own fears by not letting fear challenging them first, but rather... they challenge fear first!"

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