Notes

note to my younger self, if there will be a time machine that can convey my message. Please send it to me in 2018-2020.

My Dear Aibarshyn, I love you and that is why I am writing to you this note. Nowadays I am not in the ideal position, but I am trying and not giving up on me. I do it for you. I do it for my future self. So, for this 23 years I have learned something. Some very useful, and basic concepts about life.

First thing: No one knows how to live. And your parents as well, especially when you came to their life, their were such a young people. You cant judge them. Even it was kind of obvious mistake. Yes, you are not so fortunate to be born in richer or "understandable" family. But on the other hand is there a real normal families? No one understands other person for 100%. The perfect person never existed and never will. Maybe AI like human.

Secondly, dont imagine that the life will be easy and please do not have any high expectations. You are not a special, but also you are special. Accept conditions as it is, and work on yourself, be educated enough to be able to differentiate the truth from lie, to see the objective even the crowd says opposite . Be humble and decent person, even if you know more or you are in better position, dont get proud of it. Everything is temporary. Love and support your friends. Have a courage to tell truth, smth that you wanna say even if its negative. But please never cross a road. Admire those people and appreciate them. And even it will end some day be grateful and have a self respect to walk away.
Yes, accept life as it is.

Thirdly, Love yourself. It is kind of broken record but it is what it is. Prioritize your peace. I know that you are self confident, but unfortunately some situations will affect to your self esteem. But believe in yourself, please. You can do more, You are capable of doing big things, You can accomplish those projects. And I will say more You can do it alone. No one wants to go to hiking ? So dont wait, go solo. Travel more, dont be dependent to smth, smn. You are the trigger of your happiness. Let your self be you. Set apart your inside voice from the outside noise. You can be more. But you are already enough. trust me. Indulge you, buy that cool things and do not regret. wear that mini skirt, apply that red lipstick. Go to the dance club. Be with your own, say no if u wanna say it, say no please. Protect yourself. Please. Protect me. You dont deserve that violence. Nobody can force you into sexual connection. Please, protect me.

Four, Be responsible enough to answer to your actions and none actions. Have a clear understanding and plans what do you want, and work on it. Time flies by you will not notice it.

Five, Do not accept life too seriously. We are temporary creatures. And there are plenty of magical and fascinating things. Books, nature, people, FOOD, animals, art, your works. etc etc etc. So do not forget to observe other things also and do not dive deep to self analysis. I know it is hard to have crisis of existentialism, depression, stress. But I am really proud of you. You had metamorphosis. Aibarshyn you are very mature to your age. You survived. Look forward to excellent things to happen. Also do not accept anything as granted, especially people. Work on what you already have in others. It is rare that they will change.

Six, la vie est belle. There are so much more than you think. So, try-try and try. Do not sleep away that chance to live. Travel, eat new dishes, meet new people, read books, try new hobbies, have a lover, sing, cry, laugh,dance,complain,laugh. Live, Aibarshyn live fully. And let yourself to be free, wild, conscious, and woman who has the harmony. remember there are so much more than you see.

I think it is enough. Although no

Seven, be brave enough to follow your dream. Life is to short, so fuck it? yeah, kind of that. But the reality hits deeper. And you cant say that and be like the protagonist of instagram reel. You have to sacrifice smth to gain smth. And you should trust in your own actions, you must believe in yourself like on one else. you must ignite that fire, and burn until it will light up the whole city in the darkest times. You must to work on yourself, abilities, and be in the beast mode. But for sure not hard. remember rule number 5.

eight learn deutsch. german is logical and so stunning language. it has a logic, not like french. So, also do not leave piano lessons. And work as engineer. but it affected to my health so I quitted. Okay. Just be live yeah. love me. buy me matcha, not in starbucks, and eat healthy. Mmm, buy that yoga teaching course. Yes, I wanna be couch. mm, what else, say sorry to lester, and dont offend so much people. oh, your sharp tongue. But actually ok. Just ok.
we dont have time machine.
It was quite rich experience for me. 8 jobs, so many people, friends, bfs, eats),hikings, lessons, yeah. It is called a life. Now i am listening the music Moon and it went like. Thats kind of great feeling.

Grace.

So, yes. It is my thoughts for 15 march 2023. My gained knowledge or just sharings.

with love, Ai Sei.