Notes

okay so. when i was in elementary school. around maybe 2014, 2015. i don't have a clear memory of it. since i was a child and my memory was tainted by the trauma i received later on in life where i could've died by breaking my neck after a four-wheeler accident in 2018. but back to my abuse trauma as a kid. when i was a kid i'd get in trouble constantly. as kids do. i was around 7-9 like i said before don't remember clearly. i remember one day i got in trouble. my mom took me into my closet. yelled at me. and continued to hit me with a extension cord. other times it was with a belt repeatedly. this particular time it was an extension cord other times it had also been a switch(a twig from a bush or tree, use to "discipline" children by whipping them with it") that also left bruises and whip marks. but the time with the extension cord is what left bruises on my legs, shoulders, and arms. that got noticed and reported to the CPS(Child protective services) they investigated.
and my mom sent me away to live with HER ABUSIVE DAD. big fucking shocker right? he was down right abusive to her. so the cycle continues but the cycle breaks with me. i'm not abusing my kids anyways. she sent me to stay with him. cause she worried about me being taken away from here. so first night, i was there. he took me into his closet. and hit me. they we're much more aggressive. him and his wife. i remember i got in trouble one day. they both hit me with belts. her when we got to the house. him when he got home later that night. but anyways, she didn't get convicted. i didn't get taken away from her. but it's funny how. she use to treat me like shit when i got in trouble. but now my siblings same age as i was when i was abused the get a slap on the wrist at most. or their tables or xbox taken away. i use to get bruised. shit isn't fucking fair. but i wouldn't want them to go through what i went through. this is kinda why lovely exist. lovely works as a trauma response to this.
being around the same age i was during the abuse. then in 2018. i got into a four-wheeler accident with my auntie. i'm going to give a little summary of that night so here it is. around 7, about dawn. sun was going down. me and my auntie decided to ride up the street and back down on her four-wheeler. i was 11, she was maybe 13. 14. so as we were riding back down the street. something happened and the four-wheeler flipped. my auntie fell first, got up. i fell off and it landed on top of me. the metal part on the back landed on my neck. later on at the hospital the doctors said it could've killed me. but my auntie woke me up cause it knocked me out. and we ran back to the house. she kept asking if i was okay, and i kept trying to call my mom. we got to the house. one of my grandparents cleaned us up while panicking and rushed us the nearest hospital which was about an hour away since they live on the country side. anyways. we got to a hospital. i got put in a neckbrace and got bandages