Notes

Drowning in your thoughts is worse than drowning in actual water. It is something deadly that have you fighting for your life if you get lost in it. Wanting to talk to someone about it but not knowing what to say. I mean it's there.... it's all there but to put it into words and make someone else understand you is a very hard thing to do. Wanting to be a normal teenager but it just keeps hunting you. Can't sleep at night because it's just there. And then it keeps building up until you can't take it anymore, so it gives you a mental breakdown. Wanting to be save but not wanting to look weak or good for nothing in front of your loved ones. And then when u finally give in and allow someone in where to the point you trust them with your story and then they end up judging you. And it adds more pressure to the mind... that's where u begin to think what others are going to say.... in that moment is where u feel numb, or you feel nothing at all. Feels like it is all an end now... but it doesn't stop there. The feeling of loneliness and lost to the extend where you're a dead walking. And you look as though you have no life, or you don't know what's the point of living anymore. And then this thought appears the thought that makes it seem right in your eyes or like it is the best thing to do. Or maybe you feel like you have no other option. And this is the suicidal thought.