Notes

I really hate the fact that you are upset at me but won't tell me I literally told you one thing and now I'm crying because u lie to me , its March 7th and I'm in the bed .... I just need to breathe he tells me hes sorry that I feel my opinions and thoughts arent heard because I said that what they choose to do regarding chores is fine... From a young age I could not wear jeans, wear colored nail polish, wear my hair down, or get weave and I always got bullied and questions were always asked about why I can't do this or why I can't do that and why I always do this and I was so tired of it and my parents.moved my schools because I complained about being bullied but it was really their fault for letting someone control what they decided to do with their kids... Its also a lot of stuff in between that huge gap of stuff that my opinion didn't matter on but I don't recall every single thing that's happened....there was also a time where they asked about my cousin staying over because her mom needed help and they told me I had time to answer (a week) the next week she's been over and they never asked me how I felt except the time when they told is but again I didn't get to tell them and its been like that ever since and I've told them how I felt about her but they clearly are tired of me telling them saying nothing is gonna change and that ill be fine, that's not really taking my opinion into consideration, and now their excuse is well she will be gone in the summer and then they say that ill miss her ....then there was switching schools and I told them that I wanted to stay and yet we are here now at Colons 15 minutes awau with white people who don't understand and make racist remarks every day / being with white people is so draining and being at school is too... I really want god to fix my life and I wanna allow him to but I tell someone about god and all of a sudden I'm wired or a church girl ....I'm typing this so I do not go to be frustrated but my dad, my super hero loving kind nice protective teddy bear dad is upset at me, and I've been messed up for a LONG time but I've tried and tried and I just gotta keep it going
Then mom always tells me because she said so and because and its so annoying and infuriating because we deserve explanations too and its claimed that she doesn't but she asks me to do a lot of things and doesn't even show that she's thankful or appreciative just because its "their house" I don't like those words either because when its time to clean its our house and when it comes to financials it you guy's house and imagine how weird that is to say to kids you chose to have. My mom didn't even want me she wanted all boys because their easy and I can feel that unwantedness sometimes too when I try to express myself yet I'm called sensitive... I hope things look up because God knows that I need a blessing, even in if its in disguise...thank you 🙏🏽