Notes

it's already 9months my love, I MISS YOU DEARLY. It's not even a year since you left me, and it feels like eternity. Sometimes I make myself feel better by thinking it's all an illusion, but according to you I'm just delusional, FUNNY HUH? Life is so messed up! "Who would've thought that you wouldn't have been here?" Since Sunday 5th June,2022 at approximately 11pm if I remembered the date and time correctly, I often question my existence I just feel so lost. I often experience a lot of mood swings, if I'm being totally honest, I'm mad at the world you were the only support I had. Why would God give me a fairytale that was filled with hopes and dreams just to take it away from me leaving me heart broken and empty? Nothing in this life really matters to me, I don't even have the energy to do anything anymore the little energy that is have is what I'm using to survive right now. I know that I'm going a very hard time and a part of me really wants to give up because I don't have the motivation but, I know all that I'm going true is worth it and it is all a part of God's plan but, Do I really? I know it's wrong to question the Lord, but I often find myself questioning the Lord's plan. Is this really it? I'm never getting to see you again, hold your hand or
even hear your voice again, I know this will never happen, but I just want to have one last moment with you. If I only knew the so called the doctors/nurses said that you had covid and had to go to a covid facility was the last day I would've seen, you I would've given you a longer hug. I know you was suffering dearly but, I'm I bad for still wanting you to be here with me? A part of me feels so selfish for wanting that, but that's just how I feel.