Notes

"As his eyelids deliberately opened up he took the chance to take a sneak peek. It was extremely aphotic and the sense of dreariness just struck through the air with a cold blow making the air froze in his lounge. It was the calm before the storm and his nemesis was a tornado of death that could have came in at any given moment. A strange, tense palpation filled the air as he tried to clear his mind in the darkness. But no matter how hard did he try couldn't he shove it out the darkness out of his head. His mind was taken over by darkness, fear and all he could see in his mind was gloom. He didn't know neither who he was now why he was alive, what was the purpose of his life. He was practically just a nobody. He had no feelings but pain, he had no thoughts but despair, he had no sense but frostiness. His mouth was hanging open, purple cold, dry as the deserts and the skin was shattered and was peeling off. His nose had no air to breath in. His eyes had a blank stare, didn't have feelings, didn't have a meaning, didn't have any living remainder in it. His ears could only hear panic and screams of misery. His body was paralyzed, he couldn't move an inch as the freezing cold air pierced through every ounce and bone of his. He was more than half dead, he didn't had a purpose, didn't have bonds, didn't have an identity. Darkness absorbed every living part of him. His mind, body was concealed into the darkness and freezing coldness. But then, a strong breeze broke through the cave as his head clumsily turned on it's side. With the breeze making his head splash into the mud, his face getting covered up, his vision started to fade away creepily. His eyes turned pitch-black his eyelids became heavy and slowly but surely, it started to close again once and for all. But at that instance, a beam of light appeared in the far distance. And then, from deep inside, an extraordinary feeling broke out vigorously and he finally felt the first traces of any hope. He gritted his teeth, he took a deep breath, he trashed out any signs of darkness as he absorbed the first rays of light with his eyes. His vision started to clear up, and got more and more sharper. His fingers started moving on its own, grabbing the cold stone wall. A warm desire went through his mind and his body started moving on its own aswell as if a force from another world helped him up. A striking feel of soreness hit him as he stood up making every inch of his body shudder. He began to march towards the end of the cave and as he stumblingly did , he could feel every single bone of his endure an inhuman pain. It was like burning hell inside. But he was hungry for it, he, for the first time, experienced a warm feeling and he was hungry for more and more and more. He endured the pain, he kept marching, he knew he couldn't stop. His legs felt stronger and stronger as he absorbed the power of light. His steps became faster and faster, the sound of them echoed through the cave in a magnificent way. His blank stare started of darkness started to turn white, filling up with life, humanity, feelings and determination. Determination that only humans can have. He got closer and closer and thus his sense of humanity got clearer as well as more more vigorous. He could feel the light, he could feel the warmness, he could feel the freedom as he ways only seconds away from the breakout.

But then, a tornado like blast caught up to him and he abruptly stopped as. He suddenly got into a huge cavern and his eyes got huge and the sense of fear, panic and chaos overcame him. Small drops of sizzling water slowly dropped down on the walls of the cavern. In the bottom of the cavern, a flood of lava destructively flooded the cavern. The air got warmer and warmer until it was scorching hot. It turned into a burning hell as the lava smashed to the wall and splashed destroying everything and leaving nothing behind it but massacre. The two biggest rock pillars in the middle shattered upon the lava flood reached them and as the crumbled down and did the huge rock structure above it aswell. Crumbled down, on the ground, as the lava got to every corner of it. The lava was burning it up from the inside. The awful and loathsome smell of the burnt stuff emerged and filled the air making it nearly impossible to breath in since if you did do so, it would have gone through your body, your bloodstream and it would burn you form the inside even more. The small holes in the top of the cavern got covered up one by one, and thus the light went away and everything got into duskiness once again. From the ground small holes appeared and boiling hot stream of hot air just burst out of it making an awful high pitched screaming voice that no human could survive it was so painful to hear for your ears. From the outside did the cavern look fine even though it was closed but on the inside, it was a true hell.

He was so close yet so far as he slowly started to lose his grip on freedom and his hope started to fade away, the white turned black, the warm intensified to burning hot, the sweet-smell became disgusting,the sweet echoes turned to ear breaking screams. But right at this moment, a flood of water just broke through the top of the cavern and roared down with a never seen before power. It denied the lava flood stopping it from continuing its rampage. Not only it denied the lava but it also stopped the disgustingly nasty screaming sounds aswell as the scorching hot air. And when the water flood broke through the roof a never before seen amount of light pierced through the cavern and reached every dark corner of the cavern and thus it totally chased away darkness not even leaving a single trace of it. The top of the cavern created a magnificent ramp which showed the right way for him to go to start a new life, to know who he really is, and why he is on this world"

And this water flood is you guys <3 I've a really hard time, nearly committed suicide, but with you all, i found out who i really was and why i'm on this freaking earth. I just simply can't thank you all enough to make me realize that i have a place on this world and that who i really am.

So for the end here, what i would like to give you all, is just a short little note <3 So whatever might happen, always(!) be positive and look on the positive side of things because there is ALWAYS a good thing in everything. If you find it hard for yourself to find the good things you can ALWAYS turn to me and i'll find it for you for sure. If you are positive about things, don't forget appreciation aswell, just admire the things that you already have. Like, you might like the city you live in, or the friends you have, oooor the sunset. Don't go out there bitching about everything ^^ "Everything is good,only there might be better ones". That is the numero uno rule of positivity.
And i kind of touched on this earlier when we were together at the engame workshop is that don't be afraid to fail. Double up on your failures to achieve success. Like what i want to say with that is to try more. Most successful people don't see failures as failures but results. If you say "I knew this wouldn't work out i give up", that's not good. Just go about it this way : "we did this and this and that wrong" , take the results, start making little tweaks and do it until it works. Not only it is data but it is also experience. Really precious experience to have. You can apply that to every field of life, it can be learning, jobs, and even more relationships. Just go there and ask them out xD what's the worst that could happen they say no. it's like sales... you do that a hundred times once gonna say yes xD you can also say something like... "i knew you would say that you're so predictable, i wouldn't date a predictable person anyway"

As always, i luv you all so freaking damn much and everytime i see you all together I would like to scream out something like : MY FUCKING UTERUS IS GUSHING!

Kisses and huggies, Khoaaaaa~~