Notes

Hi Shelby this is Mike, Vee's best friend. Don’t be mad at him for giving me your number because I told him I wanted to speak my mind to you from a third perspective after understanding everything. I am not here to bother you. The way you treated him was sadly very harsh based off what he told me and your sudden change in behavior.

Based on what he said, it seems that he had naturally developed some romantic feelings for you from the good experiences you both had together. However from what I understand, when he tried to connect with you emotionally, things changed suddenly for the worse. He told me how you were suddenly fearing affection and he really felt your sudden anxiety and was sad you guys broke apart. From my and my girlfriend’s perspective from listening and reading the texts, it appears that some unresolved or buried emotions within you were suddenly activated, triggering fear and anxiety.

Vee showed me the texts and shared with me that you even threatened to call the police if he left your items and a gift at your apartment without seeing you. This seems like a significant overreaction to a caring/genuine gesture and I hope you can realize that. Yes he should’ve given you space, but he didn’t completely know what was going on with you mentally and how you were suddenly perceiving him. It was his attempt at affection to try to help you feel better while not seeing you in person. If he knew better he wouldn’t have pushed for it.

My girlfriend is an sexual assault survivor and I understand the challenges that come with dealing with trauma. She’s had terrible fearful bouts of depression and anxiety in the past because of her trauma. That was when we first started dating and we’re at year 4 now. This included her also being very emotionally numb because of dissociation and anxiety and depression. None of the things that happened to you were your fault, and I am sorry for what you had to go through. It’s really hard to mentally deal with such horrible things, and to express them to people, especially romantic partners. And it’s sad you see someone as caring as Vee become somehow a threat to you. The one thing that truly helped my girlfriend the most to heal and become her true self was MDMA. It helps the fearful part of your brain finally calm down and resolve your trauma, it’s the most beautiful thing and I’m so glad we did it. Please look into it and people’s experiences online because it might really help you.

All I know is that Vee would never do any harm to anyone and he has attachment issues that sometimes makes him overthink a lot. His recent girlfriend was a survivor too and he cares a lot about consent and mental health. She also messed him up because of her unresolved issues and I was there for him the whole time to help through it.

I don't think Vee fully understood what was happening in your mind when things changed suddenly. It seems that your fearful part took over, and you needed space to recover mentally. But in his head he thought he did something wrong, and especially after bringing up the police he got really messed up mentally. That’s why I’m here defending him. You had told him he was scary but in reality you were suddenly treating him like a stranger and the fearful part of your brain overtook your ability to feel any trust or any genuine caring gestures from him. He didn’t realize you were actually having a fearful mental response because of trauma and perceiving him fearfully. He’s a good dude and he didn’t deserve to be labeled as almost some sort of predator for being caring. Yes he can be overbearing and overthink sometimes but that’s because he’s an emotional type and thought he did something wrong to you. He also needs therapy to be honest because of his father’s trauma. I simply wanted to give a third perspective because he didn’t deserve to be hurt or labeled like that and personally this has been really wild to hear about. I hope you heal and take care.