Notes

at the begining starting at like early december ive started liking mascara. Ive known him for 3 years now but we were not close. i just know mascara because were in the same classes as eachother. But were in the same class as eachother this year and weve been getting closer. and this school year ive been changing my look and starting wearing ( like actually ) makeup and am getting realy good at putting on makeup and i dyed my hair and so i look hotter. Ive been getting some types of make up to like me ( now this is about boys ) like highlighter and blush! highlighter is good friends with mascara and ik that highlighter likes me but idk bout mascara. but anyways like i said ive gotten a glowup so now im papular and so i think hes been starting to notice me. i like him like him like have a CRUSH on him. this is why i have a crush on mascara. i dont like him because of his looks! well he is kinda cute! but anyways reason one is he is so caring! usually i always get hot cos of anxiety, so i like always have like a sweater/jacket on but i will take it off and he always tells me to get my jacket and remembers for me!! and one time i put my head down cos i was SO sleepy and he came over to me and asked if i was ok and that was SO SWEET! also he is kinda funny and hes not that much like the other boys cos he is more mature and knows how take care of a girl and care for a girl ( but some times he can be a lil immature or be a iddiot lol *hint tampon filter* And ive been dropping a bunch of signs infront of him but still didnt make it too obviouse. Like one time since we have assighned seats at lunch and my bestie and mascara and me sit at the same table as eachother, And i wanted to get risky and said "lets go around the table and tell eachother how many crushes we have" and my bestie wich is emmette and my other bestie wich is lia ( were one of the popular trios so is me lia and aves thats another famouse trio im in ) well lia and emmete knows i have a crush on mascara and ik emmetes crush but lia said she doesnt have one. so anyways i came clean and i said one, GUESS WHAT he said he has one... and i might know who it is- it might be ME!!!! cos hes been only talking to me like he still talks to other girls like if they have a question but it doesnt look like mascara is actually into them be when mascara talks to me he looks like hes into me and he talks to me on a daily bases and that makes me confident!!! but valentines day is coming up and i rlly want him to ask me... but the thing is he isnt and emmete and lia are the only ones at school that knows abt my crush and they keep pushing me to ask mascara to be my valentine but here are the reasons why im scared..... well one- his friends blush and blush and contour are kinda mean like blush has a major crush on me and asked me to be his valentine but i said no after what he did to me... but if mascara tells blush and contour that i asked mascara and if mascara says no than i will be bullied for LIFE because then they will all know my third grade crush. and also i dont 100 percent know if im the one he wants.... so im kinda scared. also i think it will be better if the boy asks. but those are my reasons and i am just scared and i want him to ask before valentines day! but i cant do anything, all i can do is cry and hope that mascara will ask. im scared and sad and mad! WHY WONT HE ASK. i feel like im so stupid and i make some things so OBVIOUSE! (this isnt abt mascara)