Notes

Today I brought a hat from my job. I have been working at Chipotle for a year now although it seems like five. And no, I didn't bring my hat because I love my job and am proud to be there. To be honest, I hate looking at this hat and I hate holding it because it kind of smells. This is my first ever job and I remember how excited I was to start. I knew I had a lot to learn but I did feel pretty confident walking in. My confidence has never been shattered as much as was that first day. I walked home bawling because I was convinced that if I couldn't handle this I would never be able to handle anything. Now, I have always had a history of believing the world was ending when I didn't succeed at something or didn't do something right so the idea of returning to work the next day was not an option but I had to otherwise I would get fired. Fired after working for 4 hours. Looking back at it, my first shifts were just as hectic as they are now, it was just all new to me and I didn't know how to handle it. Another thing about me is that I have always been stubborn, and when I want something I do what I can to get it. What I wanted was to be good at my job, problem was that my job scared me and made me feel like an idiot. I didn't see what other choice I had other than showing up to work so that's what I did. I have now been showing up for a year and although my job is the opposite of fun, it's no longer scary, not the least bit. In fact, now I feel as though I can handle any obstacle that comes my way. We really are capable of anything and everything. I'm not trying to compare working in customer service to lifting a car, although I swear customer service is harder. But, as I mentioned before, prior to having this job I believed life was falling apart when I failed or didn't understand something. I can't tell you the last time I experienced that feeling. Well, a year ago I guess. I now believe I know the meaning of "you're capable of anything". My job is not my savior and it is not glamorous so don't misinterpret my words and apply to chipotle because you assume it will help you too. In fact, apply anywhere but chipotle. I do feel unstoppable though and I accomplished a lot of things last year that I didn't think I could. You are also capable o anything and everything. You'll never have it perfect on the first try, if you do we're hiring, but you do have to face the fear and uncomfortableness to get it perfect each time.