Notes

Give your Children The'summer Slowdown' they Require

Before the conversation becomes all about summer camps or sports or vacations or making plans to do all the numerous, many things that we've been unable to do, let's take a moment. Even the most fortunate children have suffered a mass death event like this. They have been cheated by a lot of adults. They are more attuned than they are likely to reveal to you (or comprehend).



Do not try to return to the life you had before.



Although we're just beginning to collect data about the effects on mental health of the pandemic on children, the most important indicators are alarming. According to the Children's Hospital Association, mental health problems for children 5-11 increased by 24% between April and October of last year. Even in places with abundant resources even for children that aren't directly affected by the epidemic, school closures can disrupt routines and reduce access to food. This can result in higher levels of stress and anxiety among children.



Research has proven that trauma from childhood, especially if it is not addressed and treated properly, can cause long-term health issues. Even if a child doesn’t meet the definition of trauma, many children have had traumatic experiences. Experts have been anticipating the effects of trauma on children since the start of the pandemic. As parents, how are we going to do? What can we do for the following week? What can we do during the summer heat?



Since I feel the urge that we'll attempt to fix something that cannot be fixed by scheduling, planning and filling our days with the same things we avoided last year.



Let your kids be kids this summer. Instead of trying to make up for lost time let them breathe and find their way.



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Here's why I'm going to follow my own instructions. In December, when my family was at the lowest point I began to refer to children older than this year's "Gen C." Although I hope that it doesn't stay I can see evidence that my middle schoolers are suffering from burnout everywhere I look. They are sharper with their parents, and less likely to listen (my son is non-verbal, my daughter hyper-verbal, but both communicate quite effectively), butting heads in ways that are not new. 16 months of constant focus on our family, in our homes, during the turmoil of the world can make a difference. We must be careful about bringing our children from Gen-C into the wild world of "zoomers" if we want to do this.



There has been a lot of writing about burnout and work culture in the last month. Charlie Warzel, who is co-writing a book on the future of remote work, wrote an important essay in which he urged bosses to give their employees an opportunity to take a "summer slowdown."



As parents, it is our responsibility to give our children the opportunity to slow down. Don't overwhelm your children with more programming, extra schooling or in any other way trying to simultaneously give them everything you want for this year and restore everything that was lost during the pandemic. Let them breathe, and if they need to grieve, let them do so. To be unsure or angry. To give people the space to feel better, to let go of anxiety related to trauma, and to look out for trouble spots that might require more support.



Here's why I got the Covid vaccine at the age of 12



I've had to accept that lost time is in fact lost. It's extremely difficult to accept that. So I want to let my children take it slow. My daughter is keen to pick up an axe and learn to fence. My son would like to learn how to swim. She would like to play playing Minecraft and they both want to do this through YouTube.



The last year was not entirely bad for our family. Even as we struggled with restrictions and fear (and eventually both my son and my wife did get Covid-19), we came together as family. We went on more walks. We played more games. I purchased a 12-foot aluminum boat, one that was battered Montgomery Ward "Sea King" boat in 1985 and took my kids fishing on the many lakes that surround the Twin Cities' metro. I taught my daughter to make her own pasta. My wife and me tried our best to prevent the children from anxiety while teaching the basics at an appropriate level.



Still, kids are able to pick up on things, so even at the best of times, this summer was not a vacation. Then the school year began and so did the winter-time spike in infections.



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We can now get back to work following this summer. Persian Cat Rescue I'm as determined to fight for a fair education as I have always been as my son heads to high school and my daughter will hopefully get her first year of "normal" middle school, however that may be. I am prepared to fight for access and distance education.



If I could let my children relax and let them relax, I could be able to as well since they're not the only ones carrying the burden of the past year and one-half years. We all have lots of healing to do just if we can find the time.


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