Notes

I'm just gonna tell all truth via this note. If I chat you, you keep asking why and I know that you don't believe me anymore. I know it's hard believing someone who disappointed you over and over again. The truth is I still love you, but I confused if you feel the same or not. I'm not willing to be back to being just friend.
Why? I like you for a long time, since August 2016. Even before the college starts. I'm not lying, in the name of God. And I'm not ready to be a stranger like before. It's hard to get you.
Lately, I'm trying to keep a distance from you. Why? I realized, we can't be like this forever. We're different in some things. I'm trying to leave you since early February, but I don't know why I can't. I never love someone that have different religion. And this is happen now.

Another thing is, I disappointed you before. I'm trying to get my reputation back from you, and want to prove it that I'm not bad as you think. All I do have a reason. If I try to leave you, I'm afraid that I disappointed you, again. I know that we're not in a relationship, but I feel different. So, I'm sorry if I'm too over with you.
I don't know what you thought of me, but I care with you, more than a friend. Don't care what people says.
I wanna be a normal friend, but I can't. You know that there's no friend that care like this, especially a boy/man. I know that girl never tell her feeling. But I just want to know for once. Making me confused all night.

Do you still like me?

Why I'm asking this, you're not showing that you still like me.
I thought you're just pretend that you still like me after that 'mistake'.
I'm tired if I keep guessing what's you're thinking.
There's a time that man is tired what woman doing.
You know that I can't give all the cares if I don't know what that person feel. I know we're just friend.
Wanna know my answer? Yes, I still like you, even more. I'm fine if you decided to leave, it's better than lying that you still like me. It just break my heart for a long time.

But once again, we know that we can't do this for a long time, so we just waiting who's gonna be the first to say goodbye.
And now you know, why I act like this recently.

And yes, I keep dreaming about you, five time in a row. I'm just telling the truth.
This is why I'm so desperate. All dream have different meaning. But I don't want to explain it.
I'm sorry if this note have some words that you don't like.
Hope you understand.
Please believe my words.
Love from your senior :)