Notes

Some say things get easy one day by another but it really gets harder and harder it all depends on the effort and time you spend on trying to make your self feel happy then reality hits you there is no making yourself feel happy. you just get used to the weight on your shoulders the crying at night till you finally fall asleep. you get used to it all and slowly try to work it out but it just don't work out you get into a stage of depression . of course you say something to your doctor expecting pills but that leads to a councler . you talk for a week your mind starts turning dark the more you talk about it the more you think about it . you hit your second stage things are blank no more thinking no more talking its just blank. the blankness starts sinking in now you feel like your sinking through the floor beginning your journey to hell. but you notice you haven't sinked all the way through.. there must be something holding you.. but what it is you feel theres nothing for you theres nobody there you alone . you get frustarated you want to sink through so bad you ready this is what you think you want.. then you catch yourself "think" ... you go blank why is what I think and not what I fully want.. your so confused you don't know where you want to be. you pull yourself from the dark whole, you stare at a wall in complete silence.. then the words come as you been spoken to "I have more to live for" , you know it didn't directly come from you.. so who did it come from.. you try to take your mind off of everything .. the sadness, the thoughts, the thinngs making you mad, a few seconds it works, then everything comes back , at that moment you start thinking once more the dark hole appears you think about walking toward it , and sinking, so you do so , you go to step in then you feel a powerful force holding you from the whole. everything goes blank for a few seconds .. you hear your name being shouted "Jayla?' , "Jayla?' you follow the voice until you see a light then all your senses come to you , "It's Me" that's the only words that surface but whats the meaning? you hear , "you have all the rights, make a change and go with it" And that's what you do.