Notes

i really miss you so much...i just don't understand why you abandoned me. why did you do this? i really want to know why. i would like my answer now, but i know you're not going to talk to me for a while. how do you expect me to be okay, john? do you really expect for me to sit around and wait? you really broke my heart big time. you have no idea what you've put me through. you are putting me through hell so now i have to sit here and feel very sad. i have no fucking patience, i want you to come back and give me your fucking answer now bc what you did was no excuse. i really want to make you suffer so you would know how you made me feel. i have not heard from you for two months now and i know that it will go on for more than 3 months. that is the most fucking depressing part cuz you always have to take forever. right now i seriously feel like you don't care about me. if you cared, you would have messaged me on facebook already and tried to fix this. but no you never bothered to. i guess you have moved on. i just wish you would fucking realize that i need an answer like right fucking now. i still love you and i want to see you again....SO BAD. when will i get the chance to, john? when will you grow the fuck up and realize that you better come back and talk to me? IT BETTER BE FUCKING SOON. you already ruined my first half of 2017 so please don't ruin my second half of 2017 too. do the right thing and come back asap. i'm done with your bullshit and i'm done with waiting. you can't just run away and do what you want. do you even realize the consequence of your actions? i think you do, but you just don't give a shit. you know very damn well that i have to get back on that train, arrive in glenview and go to that hotel in buffalo grove because we obviously HAVE TO TALK. there is no getting out of this. i'll let you act stupid for now but when you're done running away, i will make sure you understand that we must meet again in person. period. we do have a lot of things to talk about. i guess that's all i have to say to you so fuck you. you better come back very fucking soon and stop putting me through hell! now go and fuck yourself. i hope you spend your time from me in a miserable way. you deserve it, you little shit.