Notes

alani's story; my life was good as a baby , mommas baby , got everything i wanted and didnt have a problem with things but when i was 5 thats when alot of stuff went wrong. Father was in jail, and i was begininjg to get molested by my own uncle, the only person who knew was my sister caz she kinda was also too. but since i was smaller i got it worst. my dad was my everything and i havent seen him since i was 5. also 1st grade was the worst for me too caz i was always this good sweet girl and people always made fun of me caz i was too skinny , i started too stuff and where bigger bras but that made it worst . i got bulllied since 5th grade. but i started changing in 4th grade. since i got bullied i didnt trust anyone and like i started acting tuff so everything to me was a insult and i got loud with everything but that got me called ghetto. 6th grade was the best year , caz the bulllying kinda stopped except flat chested but this one boy victor made me feel good , he called me evveryday saying im beautiful , he went everywere i went and even when he went out with other girls , i was still on his mind and he would make me smile. So in the summer of 5th grade i told my cousin nini about me getting molested by my uncle caz she has been through similar situations so i had to tell my mom. my mom didnt believe me caz it was her brother . i stayed up crying and my grandmother and grandfather hated me caz i told the truth . my uncle denied everything . i had no chance . the only proof i had was my sister . the only reason they didnt believe me is because they said if he did why didnt i tell them before , and becuase i was scared and how am i supoose to tell my family that my family molested me. I never really had a bestfriend till 5th grade which was jessica , shes the only girl who was there for me and never lft. my at home problems were that i couldnt go anywhere , i never stayed over my friends house but my sister could. my mom callss me a hoe every now and than and i basically have to do everything , clean the house all the time , and yes since im the one who cleans , im the one who gets blamed for everything , at alot of points i wanted to kill myself , at one point i ran away , at one point i started cutting myslef but i threw some common sense into myself . i cant take this anymore , like i have akways been strong and im not gonna let no one come pass me caz no one knos my full story no one anything caz i always have a smile on my face , my biggest problem now is that im in love, this one boy i just cant slip off my mind and this one girl i truly hate that i have compettion with nathucia . i really like him and she is takiing him away from me . she said to me , u r gonna look stupid if u dont move on and he does .. im wondering what he has said to her for her to say that . i have beeen trying to keep my distance but shes always looking at me and i want no drama , i want the one i love , i cant take this anymore , i guess she is eveything. she has the big tits the big boobs but i hope u kno shes nothing compared to me . she isnt gonna give u the love i was trying give to you . she dosent have my persoanlity , she dosnet have my looks, and she deff dosent have my strenght mentally and phiscally .well theres way more but i have things to do . i wish someone would have time for me , someone would put up with my bullshit , someone would label me and not care what people say but i dont want just someone i want you . malik carter . i hate that i love you but its life and this is a short version of my life . i hope u kinda understand what i have been through . i never had a true friend except jessica but now victor teased me when he came to school he made me depressed caz i remember when he couldnt stop thinkinh bout me and he couldnt take his eyes off me , he was always sweet to me . i just wondered why he stopped doing that , but like i think i deserved it caz in the summer i treated him like shit but if he was the same i deff would run to him. but malik carter is a diffrent story , i want him , but thats that. love alani smith