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So am I've been in this tub siting for the past 2 and a half hrs crying like wtf idk y like am so emotional just thinking like y am I here? Y is my feelings for her getting stronger like why am so in love with her knowing we wouldn't be.. I just feel like a dumbass. So I said I was staying just for the weekend my intentions was to actually spend the whole week that's y I packed so much.. But I've been here for 2 days and just felt like am not wanted here like ok I know she's got her boo or whoever whatever but I came to spend time with her not for her to let someone on the phone put her to sleep and shit so the question came back up again y am I here? And this ain't even the first Time she did some shit like that to me... But yea I know I deserve it right she can never say when it comes to her I wouldn't do no shit like that to her y cuz I have mad respect for her but I guess a don't go both ways ...yea I stay with that dude and its crazy I haven't let me touch me nothing! In more than a month Last person I did shit with is Nikki.. Like when am there she is all I think about when he look at me I be wishing it was Nikki but again I say I know it doesn't make sense..I just don't know how to let her go... I think coming here really made my feelings stronger than before..ok so it's 3 hrs am in this dam tub it's cold I stop crying :) just vibing now...but yea ill leave it as that I can go on but it wouldn't make much sense.. Just want her to know no matter wat am always here for her I will always be here and I will always love her no matter what plus u can never forget ur first :)

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