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A'isha. i went to sleep last night telling myself that i wouldnt text him. well you told me yourself that he didnt even text to ask about me. yeah i no he loves me but i want him to show it. you even know it yourself have i ever done anything crazy for a man. i mean how many times you tried to get me with someone and i said no to all. this man is special to me but i just hate putting all the effort in. when me and him text i would sit there and expect him to text me right back it gets to 10 mins i text to check he is ok. i just want too feel like im wanted because i dont want to hold on too tight to no that he wants to breathe alone i cant do that no way. i no its really hard to sink into but i really want to spend the rest of my life with him. he really knows whats best for me. and i swear im only doing it for him i want to make him proud. he always tells me dont let anyone put you down. i know he loves me i just want to know what the word really means to him. A'isha i love you so much you're my best friend and i dont want to lose our friendship you have always been there to listen and i will always be there for you. to be honest with i dont see him as my friend my boyfriend or anything like that i see him as my husband i may not show it because i dont want to i dont even leave the house without telling him where im going. but most of the time all we do is argue ends up being my fault but everything happens for a reason. i love him with all my heart and soul and never will ever let him go why is it though im being like this. ughh i swear love is quite scary is a really big thing to me and he is my love. you told me yourslef that i have become a better person well he did that i dont take nothing from no one and i no how to stand up for myself. well we will see how long this silent treatment lasts. i really did want to speak to him but you said no reply. but honestly its so hard being without him i just feel like im single again but everything i do reminds me of him i cant express any more but this thursday will be 6 months omg i cant believe it. just a dream. well im going sleep now so goodnight i love you got college in the morning and i will see you tomorow after college. there is more to be said but we will speak tomorrow to be honest the only way i can express myself is by writing so mail me back sweet dreams x

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