Notes

I'm stressed I can't focus. My heart hurts, I'm torn. I've got no motivation, and I feel sick mentally. All I can do is pray for an escape. These men mean nothing. Yet my heart is lonely. I know Jarrett loves me, but that doesn't mean he is good for me. I;m tired of this pain. I'm afraid to leave him because I know it's only going to cause more pain leaving him. I remember what it felt like the first time I left him, and the second time. Two hearts broken, a life ruined. I don't know if I love him anymore. I don't want to sneak around, and see other guys behind him, but I cam't tell him the truth, or I risk loosing my life. Without him I'm lonely, I'm nothing. I won't be able to focus even more. Will I ever recover, Everybody around me doesn't want me to be with him, but I can't leave him, or I will leave myself emotionally broken. I can't jump off that bridge again.

Will I ever meet somebody. Hunter is a loser who broke my heart why do I keep giving him a second chance. I look like a weak fool. Why do I keep chasing Robby he's a drug addict whose obsessed with his girlfriend. Why can't I give up on these people. I can't distance myself from him. When I distance myself he becomes angry, and I become detached. Until the day I want to reattach it makes it even harder. When I come back begging for him back. Somebody who means nothing' yet everything. I can't meet anybody because I'm afraid to drive. I live in Columbus, Ga I've lived here my whole life everybody there is to meet I've already met. All the men are soldiers, and I'd rather not stoop as low as a dating website. I feel like these boys ruined me. Took away a part of me I can never take back. Lord I'm broken. I'm defeated, and I can't survive this without divine intervention. I want out of this town, I want out of this house. I want to meet someone who doesn't smoke, or drink, or put his friends ahead of me. I'm lonely, I'm lost, and I don't know what to do. Can you help me? I'm suffering.