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Why am I depressed?

1. Family

First of all, let me just tell you how much beer my mom drinks everyday. Any can she finds she will drink. When she gets drunk, she always has to start shit. LITERALLY. I can't have at least ONE SINGLE FUCKING DAY when she doesn't drink. It pisses me off a lot. My mom doesn't understand what this can do to her. This makes me worried and angry at her. Oh and don't get me started on my sister. EVERY FUCKING DAY THAT SHE IS AROUND ME, ALL SHE SAYS IS,"I don't care..." DOES SHE KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURTS ME? WHENEVER I HANGOUT WITH MY COUSINS SHE ALWAYS HAS TO MAKE ME GO AWAY SO I CAN FEEL LEFT OUT. I hope that she reads this one day in the future so she can realize what she's doing to me. Being the youngest in the family sucks ass. Everyone still thinks you're just a kid and you still can't do anything no matter WHAT you do. I fucking hate it.

2. Love

Andrew...I try to talk to him...he doesn't talk to me...why? I don't know. I can never talk to him alone because of our middle school lives. It just hurts me. He's the only person in this world that can instantly cheer me up. I was going to try to speak with him alone...but my friends just LOVE TO DISTRACT ME. They always have to embarrass me too by calling out his name every time they see him in the distance. IT'S ANNOYING! His friends NEVER DO THAT TO ME! I wish I knew a way to win his heart. I guess he's probably just a silly middle school crush anyway. What do I know about love? I'm only 12 years old. I wish it didn't have to be that way. My heart crumbles into pieces when I think about him. It hurts a lot...

3. Being the Weirdo of Everything

Whenever I try to get into conversations, nobody can ever seem to like me. I'm not who I used to be anymore. I wish people would realize that already. My stupid cringey friends always make me look like a freakish nerd like how I used to be. I HATE THAT! They always have to talk to me about anime out loud and make it seem as if I like that dumb shit. It kind of sucks. My "friends" are just so childish too. That's probably why Andrew doesn't talk to me anymore! They act so stupid ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M NEAR HIM! I wish they'd just grow up already. Honestly get a life.
     
 
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