Notes

im crying right now cos i looked at the prom playlist and the poeple who used to bully me have added songs that they used to laugh atme for listening to because they were 'weird' and i know im gonna cry at prom when they come on (and they will cause theyre so great now) and fucking nina is gonna come up to me and be like 'nooooo clemmmieeeeeee dontt cryiiieeee' and im gonna have to say fuck off nina youre the fucking reason im crying cause u (pl) used to mean to me about this song and i used to pretend to myself i didnt care cause i had alt j and wolf alice all to my self but now youve jumped on that bandwagon and ruined that too so thats fucking great isnt it. and im gonna have to say 'oooh ill miss u all sooooooo muchhhhhh' when really i cant wait to get away from these rich cunts whove never worked a day in my life and when i said im leaving hated me even though i didnt want to leave which of course made me feel sooooo much better or - when i said why - said nooooo u cn take my scholarship - like thatd fucking work - or said theyd pay im like no fuck off im not a charity case cant u just say yeh that sucks cause even with a 40% discount we still cant afford it. and yeh maybe i am bitter that they have plenty of money and havent had to work for any of it like here u go heres £100 or the ones who dont have any money have a go at me for being stingy when all ive done is get a job and save my money so no im not gonn give u any of my money ive earned this yet imstill ahving to bail you out even though you get £60 a month. so yeh im bitter that my friends either: dont get it, sponge off me, or have a go and say 'you think youre poor you have £300' like no that my money but thats not enough to pay off a mortgage or for school fees babes so can yoou fuck off now pls.

and i am so scared to start colyton cause the only person i know is holly fucking elsworth so thats great and im just a fuck off loser virgin who cant drive. like what if no one likes me or what if my results are bad i mean i did fuck all revision and what if i cant manage my a level i mean i admit it i dont exactly know how to work hard and whatif no one likes me cause i am a spastic retard arent i who cant even handle 1 (one) bong hit what a cunt. god but i cant wait to leave some people behind. ill do a list:
wont miss will miss
holly char
sara amber
becky tch
nina nina
ruby ruby
libby libby
lucy lydia
tiger faye
tati ellie ob
maddie maddie
liv tal livvy b
isabella tilly hf
nelie emma m
polly polly
nadia helen
charlie dolly
mimi martha s
martha e millie
im just so sad and listless what if ive shagged it all up why cant i just enjoy my freedom but no im stuck in this masive stone cell with no where to go, fantisising about friends that dont exist, talking to them, laughing with them because im so sad i just do that instead of seeing or even having real friends. admit it youre drifting apart from them and theres nothing you will do about it. so maybe just get out there and socialise. see people you wouldnt usually see. talk to a boy u frigid cunt. oh wait, except you cant cause you had no real friends for 3 years who didnt abuse you so your social skills are absolute shite and you couldnt even hold an online conversation even if u tried u lazy, lonely sack of shit. so maybe put yoourself out there a bit more, oh wiat u cant cause everyones already dated yo0ur friends or likes them because theyre fitter than you and can socialise online. or maybe go out, oh wait your loser friends wont get in. or maybe get with someone, oh wait u cant u dont know how unless theyre imaginary and the onlyreal person you cant reaaly remember how it happened and you dont even know them ecept that theyre fromnewcastle and called pete.
now ive bought these fucking jeans like i buy other things in a materialistoc attempt to be more cool and ahrd and popukar even though they make you look like a try hard who talks big but actually is a posh twat without a clue so thats great why dont u just get out the re and do something this summer. make a friend and socialise and u never knwo, u could actually end up hating yourself a bit less (unlikely though)