Notes

How y'all doing tonight? Good good that's what I like to hear. I decided to catch a quick shower before I came hear. Wash away the pain of the day you know? The misery of my everyday life and just wash it away. But showers are a great thing you know. They can be used for so many different things. When I'm in the shower I usually spend a good 5 minutes actually washing. Even then I only get the most important parts. Scrub your hair, the balls, the arm pits and asshole. Then a light scrub on my torso and thighs. Then the rest I just hope the water gets it. But I'm usually in the shower for 15-20 minutes. After the first five minutes of actual cleaning I just stand there and think about how my day is gonna unfold. I really like to just read the labels on the shampoo bottles. Ya'll don't do that? Sure you do. I don't know about women but Men. We spend a good amount of time jerking off. Not together though. That'd be weird. But yea I would say the average man jerks off every 8 out of 10 showers I mean men jerk off a lot and I mean A LOT. It's really a pastime of ours and nothing is ever gonna make us stop doing it. I mean think of how many guys with girlfriends jerk off. If that aint greedy I don't know what is. But in the shower? It's a different territory because we're standing and that's where it gets tricky ladies. See if you didn't know, cum actually comes from the cartilage in your knees and every time you cum it drains your knees and they get really weak. So weak I gotta immediately sit down afterwards. Fella's you ever almost die after you cum in the shower? No? Just me? Well one time when I was alone I'm in the shower just going hard at it right. For some reason I'm lasting into the double digit margin which is like 9 minutes out of my liftoff zone. What? I ashamed to say it. You better get yours cause I'ma get mine yep I'm a greedy mothafucka. But anyway I'm going hard and finally I cum. It wasn't even a powerful load either. It was like those kethcup packets you get at burger king type of load. Then all of a sudden I feel shortened of breathe and I just chalk that up to me beating my average time by 9 minutes you know? Then the knees buckle and thats not a good feeling when you gotta lean up against a wall to stay up but then I sit down on the shower floor and my heart starts beating through my chest (bum bum) (bum bum) (bum bum) now I'm getting scared so I decide to get out the shower and I try my best to dry off. I do my best and I open my bathroom door and my eyes go crosseyed and I feel like I cant see. Now im terrified. I slip on the tiles and hit my head on the floor like a basketball. Now I can feel myself drifting in and out of consciousness. and I'm just like this is how it ends. This is the final chapter. My mom is gonna come home and find me dead on the floor with cum all over the place. So I wake up about an hour later and I'm fine. My mom wasn't home and I didnt die in literally the most humiliating way possible. So naturally when I woke up I... jerked off again. I aint letting that stop me and every man in here know what im talking bout but hey I'm out ya'll been great.