Notes

Again with the long text. I felt as if the time to tell this was when I saw you on monday but I didn't so... I told Rachel literally everything that I could tell her for the reason why I left before leah and you came to the bowling place. And I feel like I need to tell you in any case there was a misunderstanding or even if there ever was.. The reason I left was because I felt like a burden, stupid right, so I started to isolate myself from my friends and classmates and didn't eat lunch, causing me to become anxious & stressed out and overthinking about every single thing. Not even wanting to talk to anyone about me becoming stressed out or anxious in anyway, not even to my parents. So I told them, "I want to try homeschooling" and made a normal excuse like "I just want to try it, and yeah I said bye to my friends" But I never did. And I didn't want to admit that to my parents, I didn't want anyone to know about my problems because I felt like I couldn't tell anyone my problems, and decided that I needed to be alone that I should just not deal with anyone in my freshman year. And by doing that it had mentally destroyed me.. and there where days were I was so depressed that I just couldn't take it being at school. No man/women is an island and isolation kills, was not going through my mind and my inner isolation was killing me. It wasn't my best option to leave but in my eyes I only saw it as the only option. And your a great friend for being there finding time to play a game while I was alone. And even being the first person to ask if I was sick after a 2 week of absence from the school. I'm grateful for that. And more many other people who still tried to reach me before I left. But I felt so trapped from myself that I did not know how to get out of it and the only thing was to leave that even I couldn't even bring myself to say goodbye.

And I didn't really answer your question when you we're asking what I was doing with my life. Well, right now, I'm learning about concepts in terms of finding the right way, the right place to be in. And today I was learning about contrast bias, the misunderstanding of comparisons and how it's better to look at things by themselves rather than comparing them. Like the man on the moon, if that was the hardest task that took 10,000 years of civilization to do, than anything you do or try to do will never be as hard as putting a man on the moon.