Notes

Don't worry. You can't please everyone. And I don't care what everyone thinks about me, but I do care what you think of me. I don't think she's jealous. I, however, might know why she is pissed. Please just don't tell anyone. But since I like to share things with you, here it goes.

I remember telling 'the other girl' (PAL) about a year ago. Something along the line that she (SK) flunked a year, which is why she spent a year back home to what she called a gap year. Now, what's odd is that gap year is not allowed on your first year, same goes with a sandwich year or industrial year. Sandwich/industrial year is where you spent a year working looking for a job experience. Now this is not allowed on your first year, because after your first year, you aren't equipped with enough knowledge to make use and apply what you've learned so far. It is allowed however, after your second year.
What's funny about this is that her friend told me when we were having lunch. She told me that during the break before the final exam, she went on holiday to Portugal, I think. But on her way back, she lost her BRP card, and was not able to enter the UK and attended her exams. She failed them all, I think? Sure, it's a poor judgement on her. Don't quote me on this though since it's been two years since I had 'that' conversation.

I think when I told the other girl, the words spread. And maybe everyone was calling her off for bluffing in saying that she's doing a sandwich year. But what I told you so far, I don't filter myself, which is why I'm not comfortable when people read what I wrote. But years ago, the other girl, must've told her friends, and it spread. Was it my fault though? I was simply being honest. And of course what I get from 'that' conversation, is only one interpretation. At the time, I was simply explaining myself to the other girl.

About my shopping habit, you know, compare to what I've been blessed with, the portion that I take out and enjoy for myself, is actually minuscule. I only spend 0.07% of it on me. Not even 0.1%, less than 1 in a thousand. Why does it bother people? And I don't go crazy on things. I buy one or two pieces that's it. And I hate things that have its branding all over the place, I don't buy things so I can show them off, I buy it, so I can wear it for a long time, it's an investment. The less the branding the better. I don't spend my parents money, I'm spending what I earn myself. And I don't show it off either. But forgive me for having a good taste.

But here's one thing I really really like about you. I know that your job sometimes demands you to be glamorous all the time, wearing all the luxury you could have, and with all the jobs that you've done in the past, I'm sure you could afford most of what you want. But compare to most people, you're actually modest. Compare to some of my glamorous friends (which is not many btw cause I don't have that many friends) you're modest. You remind me a lot of some of the most important lessons my parents taught me when I grew up. Just in human form. It's true. I'm not saying this just because I want to compliment you. So maybe I don't know you that well, but here's what I know so far, you're independent, you're modest, you don't care that much about ego, you get what you want because you go out there and get it, and you're smart.
At some point, you know I was ignoring you for months. I was ignoring everyone. My reason being I was still trying to make it work, I was trying to be 'loyal'. So, when that's over I thought, okay, maybe I would better off alone, surely you wouldn't want me after that. I was so hard-headed and brutal. But you know the concept well don't you? We only get to keep one person, and at that time, I thought she was it. But I was wrong. And how glad I am that I was wrong. And even then, you have your way of comforting me. Of course, I would never hurt the people that I care about, but even if I accidentally did, you remained strong and still marched forward. You are remarkable.

I just hope that when you do meet me I am at least half the man you've expected me to be. If I'm not, I'm sorry to disappoint you.