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Sometimes I just cant take it anymore. Some days I can be in the best mood ever and the next day i feel no happiness or energy inside me. I just want it to stop. Being depressed isn't easy and I wish it on no one. I get so bipolar and so irritated so easily and it ruins my relationships with people. If I could do anything to make the way I feel go away i would. getting forced and pressured to do counseling adds more stress and anxiety to me. Whenever I wanna be alone or go out by myself I cant do that, whenever I just need space, I cant have that. I think about doing so many stupid things that I feel will help me but ruin others. Pretending to be happy to others is so hard when in the inside, it feels like hell. I am asked are you okay or how are you every single day of my life. Thoughts always cross my mind that i cant control. I hate the way I am and how I feel but I have no choice but to live with the way I live. I've been feeling so much pain that at this point I don't know where its coming from. Depression has no cure. no pills will ever change the way you feel in an instant. It takes so much time. Time that I no longer want to wait for. I am disappointing people I love and hurting them by the way I am feeling and its so hard for me to constantly keep making people happy. Talking about it with people is so hard and I feel like no one understands me or what I am going through. At this point when I say I am okay its gotten to the point where I am trying so hard to believe the words I am saying. it feels like a roller coaster my life goes so many directions and upside downs and I am just finally waiting for it to stop. But at this point feels like its never ending. I just want what I feel to stop I just want everything to stop. I want it all to stop. I fear that I am losing others and most of all myself because of my depression.
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