Notes

when i am in a relationship i seem to notice that i get sad, depressed, and felt unwanted when i know he will always be there for me if i need him but sometimes i do not want to tell him that there is something wrong with me because i do not want him to worry about me i know sometimes i make him feel like he may not be able to trust me even though he tells me he does i know he does not and it is not okay i feel bad but i promise that i am not a bad person or a bad girlfriend i try to be the best that i can and i try my best to keep my mans happy and make sure i do everything that a girlfriend is a post to do and wayy more but i do not think i am cut out to be a girlfriend even though he tells me i am the best girlfriend i do not fell like that on the outside i feel like i should just be alone and sometimes when i am alone i think to myself how would this world be if i was not here or if i was just to end everything how would people really feel about me i know GOD put me here for a reason but what if it was just to show me how things would go and then just to take it away sometimes there is a part of me just saying take it away and there is a part or me telling to keep trying to find out why he put me here but when things turn out good they always go left for me it always gets messed up and that is why i do not think this place is really made for me but i just keep living wishing that something great will happen to me and my family but nope so i do not know why i am still here