Notes

She is gone, gone from my life, I don't know why but it hurts, it hurts because I loved her but now I know that far fetched dream is dead. She is happy, and I'm happy for her, genuinely, but I don't know if I can stand being her friend anymore, the pain in my chest - though a cliche, is real - I can feel my breaths short, my heart pierced, and my hunger or drive to do anything weakened and dying. I miss who I was, I miss her and, I miss what we were together, we were idiots but we had fun. She's gone and I don't know what to say or what to write but this. I've tried crying it out, multiple times in fact, but the pain stays, hopefully it will leave, but I'm scared what happens when it does, because then it means I've forgotten about her. Forgotten the love of my life, the girl I dreamed I would be with. Part of me wishes it was a joke, that she isn't gone but I know the truth, I thought writing this would help me feel better, to vent at a document instead of a person. But it only makes it worse, the pain grows it's a feeling I've never felt before. I'm happy I got to know her, I'm happy we were best friends, but talking to her now hurts.