Notes

It's not that you don't qualify. You do. And it's not that we didn't have time. We did. It's just you haven't conquered yourself. You were on your way to the 'arena', to whatever place I was waiting for you.. but your mind was already defeated, you were too anxious of what might've happened... when it hadn't even happened yet.

Now think about it, even if it did, when you outweigh the pros and cons of what you get.. by bearing through whatever it was that you were so anxious about, there would be more pros than cons, wouldn't it?

Maybe you showed up, maybe you were around, but you sent your friend instead, you became dependent on people. Why? Why not tackle the problem head-on? How difficult could that be? And it's not that you only got one shot, every day when I was waiting for you, that was another shot. But you didn't take any of it.

Here's one way of looking anxiousness (or any struggle):
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."

You suffer by feeling anxious, NOT because the situation REQUIRES you to be anxious, but because YOU THINK in this situation you should be anxious. But should you feel anxious? No. You have to understand.. that your feeling of anxiousness comes from YOUR THINKING. And you have power over this, you have power over your mind, you have power to control what to think about.

That's a lesson for you.

And I'm sorry there's no second chance. Also, why people are so wrong on how they see opportunities? Why do they always expect second chance?
Get it right the first time, and give all you have to that one chance! Instead of already feeling defeated, hoping for a second chance and hoping when that second chance does come around, they'd be more ready. How retarded.

I'm sorry to bother you again but I don't want you anymore. I still care though. After all, you helped me got over Putri. So thank you for that.

Before I go, I just want to get one thing straight it's not because you're not good enough. It's because YOU think you're not good enough.
And in the end, you paid the price of not getting what you want. I too didn't get what I wanted (at the time), but it's easier for me as I had already given all I got.

Anyhow, take care, and don't settle for less. You deserve the best. So don't give yourself out so easily to people. Take some time out and get your mind right.

And always remember this,
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."

So next time there's an opportunity, any opportunity, don't let your anxiousness takes over, control your thinking, take the opportunity and give it all you got.

Thank you for everything. And send my thank to all your friends. Maybe we all can still be friends in the future. But for now, goodbye. Have a great life!