Notes

I've officially gone crazy. I didn't know what to do so I just kept more things to myself. I knew I fucked up and couldn't explain. I made it seem like I was crushing on him, but in truth, I'm not. I did some research and asked some people, mostly therapists that i knew. I told one everything, From Andy to the whole crush thing, and apparently it's "normal and it has a name, Hero Worship( there are many forms of this, but this is the one who fits the situation more). It usually happens when adolescents go through a traumatic time. They look for people who they admire and look for them to "better themselves". Eventually, they start to like them more, usually when they played a part in helping the trauma. Usually the feelings end after a few months, and they go away. They aren't romantic, but are still confusing to those who don't understand them. I didn't know if this was a thing, but after some research, it apparently was. If I held out longer and kept my feelings to myself, this would have just disappeared, but of course I screwed up. I assume before summer ends that it will go away, since it isn't as bad as before. Maybe I just needed to talk to someone about. Also, before you say that I never hung out with him, I kind of did, but not at the same time. I was with his friends a lot, and I could see how different he was compared to them. He was the one guy who wasn't a dick to me, and then you kept talking about him. I guess that's when it was. Now that i've gotten to talk to him, it's going away. At least I hope it does anyways. I know this isn't a good thing for me, and I know that you probably dislike me for it.