Notes

This probably is really weird to you, especially since it involves the guy I know you like. But, he is not the reason I wanted to talk to you, and even know I wonder if thats even something I'm supposed to be doing. I know I could literally be ending everything for me by saying this, but for some reason, I'm willing to take the chance. I don't know why I feel like this, it's just not normal for me. I don't want to like him, but I just can't help it. For some reason, he's on my mind a lot and I've been fighting myself about it. If you remember, this has been happening for a while now, I just tried to make it less obvious. Remember how I would freak out for Niall and Tom, and even agree that they look hot, it's because that's what I truly thought before (it's less now, but i feel like that's good). I don't feel like I can do this anymore honestly. It hurts me to talk about it because it's such an odd topic for me, but I needed someone to talk too. You know, people are harsh when it comes to things like this. I've been holding in how I feel about him, that i feel like its starting to hurt me. I was glad when you told me you liked him, mostly because I had a reason not to like him back. Out of respect, I tried to stop my feelings for him but I couldn't. Honestly, I just hope this is a phase and i won't like him in high school,or that'll be a weird time for me. Anyway, the whole reason i told you is so that you would understand more about me. You kept asking questions on why I would act some way, and every time I would have to lie so you wouldn't know. Also, having to keep something this big to myself is mentally challenging. It's done me in a lot. I just hope this doesn't change how you look at me. I won't interfere with your relationship with Emmanuel, and I hope that my feelings for him end so I don't have to go through this any longer. If you do decide that I'll become a problem, I understand, and you should just tell me.