Notes

heres your stupid ass paragraph . Honestly im mad no im fucking angry because every single tim ei get my phone taken i let you tell me what right to do and i tell you that im trying . Everytime all you do is take my moms side and i dont want that i need you to be with me i need to know you have my back i want you to love me i want you to want me . i try my best to not bring up stuff you did cause it hurts you like so i try not to cause you cant take that hurt you can take evrything else but my pain and you cant handle that . You may say your strong but not strong enough for my pain . Cause im hurt bad like what i feel is different . ALl you see is the outside of me and you listen to my moms point of view of me that i have an attitude and you belive her and i dont say anything i just say alr baby ill try harder . But i have nothing else to try i used all of it . I told you imma try and keep us together and I am . But then you said "ill let you go" you always do that and say im not trying i never told you that you not trying cause you wouldnt be able to handle it . like you know the reason i want my phone its not for nobody but you that is the only reason I ever want it to talk to you , to text you without anyone stopping me from texting the person i love . Like we almost fell in love , and we were really close to it to . i just wish you could live in my place for a day i smile so nobody knows my pain , cause thats selfish if i give it to them cause ik they couldnt take what i have . I never told you why i had cuts on my wrist cause you never seen them , I never told you when i made myself bleed cause i was in pain and i wanted it to stop but every time I stopped was because of you cause you promised me happiness , love , an after life . I did it for you I did it cause you said were gonna be fine cause you promised . like im over here crying cause of you and i sound stupid to im over here mad , happy and hurt cause of you like you give me soo much joy but when i feel the pain it hits me hard and i try to nt show it cause your gonna take the blame and i dont want that . like im soo in love with you that when something happens it hurts cause i decided to fall in love again cause i decided to do the same thing as last tie fall in love and get left there broken and lost . i dont wanna be that girl so please dont do it to me please im begging you i cant feel that pain anymore i can . cause it hurts too much .